Hi from Scotland

Stuart333 said:

I thought I was ok, but I have arranged everything to hide the problems by having routines. I wanted to do more new stuff but I am finding it harder than I thought.

I'm sorry you are finding it difficult. Try to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to process everything and adjust. You've had years of masking and living without knowing you were autistic so it's not going to be quick.

I find it so hard to be patient and kind to myself but my assessor said that it's key to processing and adapting to the changes that come with the diagnosis.

Her words were to be kind and to give myself time and try not to focus on the past and what's been but to look forward and focus on what's to come. This isn't easy to do I know, but I like her words and it gives me some small hope that things are going to get better and improve.

Sending you positive vibes. I really hope things start to feel better for you x.

Hi Damojo thank you. I'm glad you're settling in nicely here. I tried social media once but didn't fit in at all. I found it too fast paced and really chaotic and horrible sometimes. I like it here. It feels slow paced in a good way and everyone is nice to each other. Life is hard enough already I don't want to be somewhere where it's going to trigger me. 

I think I'm in a grieving stage as well. Grieving the no cure part and trying to accept that this is the way it is and always will be. Not that I really want to cure it because autism is who I am but certain parts of it I wouldn't miss, like the interaction difficulties.

I do wonder what life would be like had I received an earlier diagnosis but I try not to linger on these thoughts as it makes me worse I think. 

It will improve. I'll learn and hopefully gain more experience and knowledge that will help me get through it all.

Thanks for replying I was worried in case I offended you! 

I really hope my parents can come to terms with it. It would be nice to be able to talk to them about it as well. I am lucky to have my sister, I feel like she's one in a million. We've always been super close and I'm so glad she talks to me about it. It's nice to have her support.

Nice find with the apron! I bought that yesterday as I'm always getting paint over my clothes (I'm such a messy painter!). I had been meaning to get one for a long time and with Amazon Prime it will come today. Yay!

Your different painting styles sound fab. I love the sound of your travel tins as well, they sound adorable. I might invest in some for myself as well but I don't really do much travelling, now I'm finishing with school (thank God!) I don't go out much at all. I do all my painting at home in this mock up art studio I made. When I do go out I take my sketch book and pencils with me, so I can draw something if I suddenly get the impulse to start drawing. 

I don't know if you've seen the videos but there's a real chill painting series with a man called Bob Ross. His videos are inspiring and hearing him talk and watching him paint is just really relaxing lol. 

Let me know if you find any paint which have a gentle scent or no scent. Because of my hyper sensitivity I get really affected by smells of all kinds and paints give off such a strong scent. My mum says she can't smell anything but I definitely can and I have to wear a mask lmao just so I can continue painting.

I also follow an artist on YouTube called Jazza. He paints and draws and his videos can be quite inspiring and fun to watch. 

I love painting because it's relaxing and I love to see the colours blend and almost come to life, as the picture goes from blank canvas to messy to a piece of art.... 

Art quality varies though

Hi and welcome to the community.

It does take a lot of time to process stuff and to learn who you really are. I was very shocked when I did the AQ 50 and scored 42, and it took a lot of learning about what autism is to understand myself better. I had masked.and tried to fit in for over 50 years, and so I found it challenging to change my behaviour and be more the authentic me. 

Being on this forum can help us realise that it doesn't matter if we are different to the majority. We don't have to socialise if we don't want to, we can have hobbies and interests that some people might think are not so appropriate for an adult (such as gaming, lego, collecting dolls, etc) and we can share our joys and trials without judgment.

I hope you enjoy chatting with us.

Hi Maisie 

I'm new here too and newly diagnosed with ADHD and Autism.

I'm the same I don't do social media either. I also struggle with interacting with others and being different.

I'm finding this place very comforting. It's good to find common ground. It helps, and lots of the threads answer lots of the questions I've had.

I'm so pleased you have your painting. The important thing is your enjoyment.

A long time ago my husband used to laugh at my sketches and it stopped me, but now I realise it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

So keep on painting Maisie and enjoy yourself.

Hello.

I knew it would make no difference, I rushed to confirm it all. I'll admit I liked the attention, although I was paying for it. Then it was over. I had a report. But then life carried on. I felt a bit lost and confused and pleased and sad.

It helped that things made sense, although I had imposter syndrome for a while. But now I look there are some real weaknesses that I was trying to cover.

The biggest change is to stop pushing so hard. It has changed everything. It has also allowed me to start connecting with my emotions and dealing with other stuff. I can't come to terms with having lost most of the last 30 years and the mistakes I made through not understanding myself. I'm somewhat traumatized.

Change comes from you. Which is why you feel so lost after being diagnosed. You have validation but no action plan.

I thought I was ok, but I have arranged everything to hide the problems by having routines. I wanted to do more new stuff but I am finding it harder than I thought.

Things will settle. Give it time.

Maisie said:

I'm not great at it but I do enjoy it

Same here.

I recently joined a local art group to give me some motivation.

  It isn't a "class" or "course" - we just get together for a couple of hours painting etc , twice a month. 

As a teenager, I used to use a lot of poster colour paint (little glass jars by a Japanese firm). 

I really like chalk pastels too.  (Not so keen on oil pastels).

More recently, I have been rediscovering water colours (I have a mini travel tin which is a 12 pan set with an inbuilt metal finger ring - which helps prevent me keep dropping the thing - particularly when using it out and about (www.amazon.co.uk/.../B0CXJJ6XZR ).

Water colour pencils arc great too (I like to doodle with the pencils when out and about and then later (at home) I use a brush and water to convert the doodle impressions into more of an image.

I haven't much experience with tubes of watercolour paints.  However, I am keen to try that as I have found a mini tin 12 (empty half trays) palette - where you fill the pans with your choice of colours, let it dry, and take it with you as a lightweight travel option.  The mini tin looks like the sort in which you get tiny mints.

I haven't tried acrylic paints much yet - I am trying to find a low odour brand (my little beginner set has a most distracting unpleasant odour!).

Also, I recently discovered double-ended felt tip pens (fine nib one end and brush-like at the other end).

I have also just got myself a set of fine nib acrylic pens which you can use on glass, stone etc.  I believe that once dry they are waterproof (Mitoymia).

If I need to really travel extra light; I use an old Staedtler Mars draughtsman's mechanical / clutch pencil - with a small number of different coloured pencil cores.  They used to be readily available - now I find a specialist art supplies shop may be a more likely source.  It is easy to get the graphite leads - not so easy the coloured versions.  (I might need to experiment with the Pentel AIN Stein equivalent ones instead).  My pencil has a metal finely knurled grip - which I find really comfortable. 

I have never tried oil paints - I wonder if the odour for those paints also may require some careful market research (maybe the middle ground of Gouache may better suit me?  I don't yet know - as I have yet to try that type).

The pads of A6 watercolour postcards 300 gsm, an A6 clipboard and a roll of masking tape often form part of my travel kit.  My travel easel solution is an A5 plastic folding multi-use plastic book stand / textbook holder / music manuscript stand 

My greatest art-friendly find:

The Japanese-style denim aprons - nothing tied around your neck and nothing tied around your waist - but long enough to protect your clothes (and not so hot as coveralls and less arm movement restriction too).  Two deep pockets on either side (instead of in the centre like a cooking apron).  Machine washable.  One size fits most people - so you can vary your layers of clothing underneath.  They have a cross of fabric straps over your shoulder blades (www.amazon.co.uk/.../B09ZNZNQ39 )

I’m from the Midwest! So somewhere between say Ohio and the Dakotas. I understand you asking, there’s a whole lot of variation and differences depending on where in America you are in.

That’s great to hear that your sister is a good support! Sometimes it can take some time for parents to understand, especially if it was a later diagnosis. There could be a little bit of guilt there that they didn’t figure that out sooner (which in most cases, was probably not feasible), so they might not want to accept it.

Hi and welcome, Maisie. I'm not a social media fan myself, but I've been giving this forum a go for a couple of months and I'm liking it. (Everybody's soooo nice, which makes a change from real life!)

My own experience of realising I was actually Autistic (it's complicated) was similar. I didn't expect to suddenly become the life of every party, but I also didn't expect that I would be grieving the younger me who never had a chance and that I was never going to be "cured". I'm getting on towards the "acceptance" phase now: this is not my fault, it's not all bad, I can manage things a bit better with my new knowledge, and I don't have to beat myself up about those parties—they're just not for me ... and that's OK.

We're in good company here. I hope you find some connection.

Hello! What part of America are you from? Feel free not to answer that I'm just mega nosy. lol.

I'm glad you felt relief. I had some validation that I'm autistic there were times when I was doubting myself but deep down I was almost certain. The expert I spoke to she said it can take a long time post diagnosis to process being diagnosed so I wonder if I'll feel better in a year or 2?

I hope I'll feel more understood here as well. I'm glad you do. I'm lucky to have my sister who is 19 and really seems to understand me. But my parents don't really get it and that's difficult at times.

Hello, and thank you. Also thanks for replying to my music discussion.

Life has been a bit crazy but I've finally got back in to my painting and that's been a lot of fun. Painting is a bit of a hobby for me. I'm not great at it but I do enjoy it and I guess that's what's most important.

What about you? Have you done anything exciting lately?

Hi Maisie - glad you have found us here.

I am also not a fan of general social media platforms - I think you may find that feeling echoed by many of our members here too.

Have you done anything recently which you found fun - interests / hobbies etc.?

Good morning from America!

You’d be surprised, so many of us have felt the same way post-diagnosis. For me it was mostly a relief, but there was still a lot of guilt and regret over not understanding myself in my younger years.

It sounds like you’re in the right place. I don’t really do social media either, but I try to frequent this site since people tend to understand me a little easier here.