Hi from Scotland

Hi, how's it going? 

I'm also from Scotland. Welcome to the community 

Yes I would agree with that. I'm not sure about you not dropping the mask is very hard for me - I don't even know when I'm masking. I think where I've done it pretty much all my life it's just the norm now and has become "natural". I only really know when I've done it because I feel absolutely drained afterwards, always when I go out and have to be "normal" with other people.

Not patronising at all! 

I'm not sure what my best self would look like? Maybe this is something I can give some thought though and work towards. 

Phased said:

Suggest ask yourself who else can you be - I can think of at least 4 answers to that question.  How about you Maisie

This is a really tricky one and I don't know lol. It's hard to see myself as anyone but how I am now. I'll give this some thought though it's an interesting question.

Yeah it's pretty neat isn't it. Normally I'm an indoor cat but I have to admit it was nice to get out and enjoy some fresh air for once  

Aww that will be lovely for you and your wife. I hope you both enjoy it. Hopefully it'll be clear skies where you are. I don't know what I'll do tonight, probably just relax and watch something.

Phased said:

Getting over the inertia to do exercise is half the trick - "two birds with one stone" like going to see the moon makes it a bit easy to do maybe.

Good point. It definitely helps if you have motivation!

I use Google most days but not really for anything important. I like to look up places and historic stuff lol. All pointless facts for my brain to ingest.

I don't like the taste of champagne - or any alcohol. My dad says it's too good for a wee lass like me lol.

Yeah life can be pretty hectic and complex can't it? Ooh the joys of life!

oh, and to answer your question why are we hard on ourselves - maybe it is because being autistic in a neurotypical world we can't help making "mistakes" according to neurotypical standards and internalise the telling offs (and sometimes bullying and rejection etc.) we get for them.  Dropping the mask only when exhausted can lead to some pretty dodgey behaviour on show too so to be fair sometimes the reaction we get is understandable.  Be nice to yourself and others and work on being your "best self" if that doesn't seem too patronising from an old g1t like me?  Hard sometimes but definitely worth it.  Suggest ask yourself who else can you be - I can think of at least 4 answers to that question.  How about you Maisie ?

Hi again ihoardjars lovely to hear back from you It really sucks to be struggling so much but I'm sure you will find help here. There's a lot of helpful pages in the Advice and Guidance section. You might find some useful tips there:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance?utm_source=Community&utm_medium=Navigation&utm_campaign=SendToNAS&utm_content=AdviceGuidance

ihoardjars said:

I'd love to connect with people easier it's just always been difficult for me to make friends with neurotypical people

I totally get where you're coming from there. I've never been able to make friends, I've tried so many times to socialise and be like neurotypical people to fit in but it just feels like I'm not compatible and am in this losing battle.

I haven't been here long but I already feel like I connect better here than I have anywhere else. I think it helps that we all understand each other because we're all walking a mile in the same shoes so to speak.

ihoardjars said:

I hope I can make friends in this group. 

Keeping my fingers crossed for you! I'm hoping for the same for myself too.

Going for a walk is great exercise and good for relieving anxiety I find too :-) 

Tonight my wife and I have a plan to walk our dogs to see the "blood moon" from a high vantage point as it rises - that is if the sky is clear of clouds.

Getting over the inertia to do exercise is half the trick - "two birds with one stone" like going to see the moon makes it a bit easy to do maybe.

Google used sensibly is a fab resource - the trick is knowing what questions to ask maybe?Hehe - maybe one day google will do exercise for people too...  Praps not the best thing!

I find "bubble meditation" is good for getting over anxiety sometimes too.  (hehe not just champagne... )  

Thanks for your reply.  Delayed?  hehe Dinnae fash yersel!  We all live complex and busy lives and we all do what we can.  I enjoy our wee chats too :-)  tata for now

I'm glad you are doing well. I'm good thanks, I got out today and went for a walk - suggested by my therapist. Pretty exhausted now but not feeling anxious so that's good. 

Ooh hey thanks for the link, I'll check it out but it looks like it's a very helpful page. Bookmarking that one! I've already checked our the anxiety page on NAS and that looks very useful too. Where has all of this been all my life lol?  

Thanks for sharing that, it's a good bit of advice as well but why is it so difficult? I'm always hard on myself and it's hard to find that kindness for myself and yet the strangest thing is I have like unlimited kindness and patience pretty much for everyone else, even people I don't really know. 

But when it's with me I get easily frustrated with myself and I'm just like oh come on pull yourself together! I need to learn to be a little kinder to myself. It's something I'm always working on.

I agree this forum is a great place to be. I already feel like I really belong since joining in here and I'm hoping learning from lovely people like you I can improve on some parts of my life, like communication, and being myself. Both I find hard and that just intensifies my anxiety.

But I'm sure things will change. I hope they will.

Phased said:

Hehe, and in my case a good search engine to find Scottish language resources!

Google is a gift from the heavens lol  

Sorry for the late reply, I completely missed your response! My bad.

As always, lovely having a wee chat with you!

Hi Maisie thank you for your kind reply, it is a pain to always feel like I am constantly struggling, but I hope that being in this group and doing more research on what I can do to help my autism and ADHD I will be able to get out of the dysregulation a bit quicker (fingers crossed). I agree with you, I wish autism didn't come with the loneliness, I'd love to connect with people easier it's just always been difficult for me to make friends with neurotypical people. I hope I can make friends in this group. 

I'm good thanks Maisie  - going well yes. :-) And you?

How autistic people communicate does seem to be especially different from neurotypical people yes - and the fab resources from this website does explore this Autism and communication

Perhaps I might share what I have been told by many lovely people on this forum please?  "be kind to yourself".  It may be that you may be drawn to this less than being drawn to being kind other people.

So, "Communication a big problem for me."  Dinnae fash yersel -  You might be being hard on yourself about this? 

"Some research suggests autistic people may share information more effectively and have greater rapport, flow and empathy with other autistic people than they do with non-autistic people."

We're a'Jock Tamson's autistic bairns here.  So this forum is a great place for us to be. 

Flip "problem" around and maybe there is more opportunity to get better at communication.  A nod's as guid as a wink tae a blind horse.    Since this might involve using the fab thing that is an autistic brain there is every chance of being brilliant at it in your own way :-)  Hehe, and in my case a good search engine to find Scottish language resources!

Thanks for your kind words - you too.  :-)

hehe remember: there's always time for a wee blether - I look forward to that.

Hello! How are you today? I hope your weekend is going well so far.

Nope your communication is really good - no problems there that I can see. I'm glad being here has helped you and been a positive experience for you. Communication a big problem for me, I've never been able to do it well and that's led to social anxiety to go along with my regular anxiety so I'm hoping I'll pick up a few tips here on how to do it better without anxiety and meltdowns getting in the way. 

Feels like loneliness is something every autistic person experiences at some point or another. I'm not feeling as lonely since joining here though. And I've met someone (You!) who speaks Scottish so off to a great start

I don't know if you have seen it yet but there's a really helpful advice and guidance section on the NAS website which I had a look at yesterday. There's a lot of helpful pages on there which you might like to check out.

Best wishes to you too and wishing you a happy day ahead.

Then I guess we're besties!! *Gives high five* I had to look Blondie up never heard their music before. lol. I think Tay Tay is just on another world really. Her music keeps getting better, she's original, her style is unique and she's "Real" and down to earth which is rare. 

I'm sorry you weren't able to enjoy your special interest but I'm glad you're loud and proud with it now. If it makes you happy then you should deffo talk about it whenever you like. I do with my own interests like painting, music and video games.

I'm really into music. I love how unlike most things music can actually make me feel happy and sad whereas nothing else does. Sometimes it feels like I'm a robot but then if I listen to a sad song, say like Roman by Tay Tay - it will actually make me feel sad and I'll start crying. Music fascinates me and I love to do endless research about it and singers.

Thank you - some good new hints and tips there - I will have an explore.

Hi Maisie from Scotland from the, currently sun-drenched, East Midlands.  My experience of this it over the past 2 years is this  is social media with the special part of it being, mostly, with other autistic people and those who embrace what i have learned to identify as neurodivergence.  

I have found it a great place to learn about autism, myself and other people and communication in particular.  I am now kind of getting the hang of it  (hehe so far so good.. please tell me if I'm wrong!)

Feeling lonely is something I can definitely relate to post diagnosis.  Doing a bit of research I found this can be a correlate to being both depressed and stressed and those things can come with being autistic - funny thing is not for all autistic people.  So I figure hang on in there and maybe be one of those who aren't one way or another.

You aren't alone in being autistic, I find company and validation on here myself- at present joining in on particular posts and sometimes starting my own - just like you have just successfully done!

Best wishes and (cheekily) och aye the noo!

Hey Masie we have already been talking about t-swizzle and if your a swiftie we will become besties hehe gotta love a bit of Blondie(nkt to be confused with the band who are also good but nothing on Tay Tay)

what else do you like? Im trying to learn to talk about other things sometimes? Maybe? It’s just that ive only really started talking to people abour Tay Tay after being a massive swiftie for like 2 years I decided to like listen to gwt lore recently too and it made me realise this was a speical interest but one I had kind of neglected due to bad stuff going on but realising how happy it makes me im all in from now on 

Hi ihoardjars and welcome. I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling so much at the moment. Sadly this seems to be the case for most with autism. I wish we could be autistic but without the loneliness and struggling with change and dealing with people. 

I've already found being here more helpful than I thought possible. I hope you find the same.

Hi Maisie, your post really made me feel like I was looking in a mirror, I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this too. I have been struggling with loneliness for a long time as well and it has been getting a lot harder to deal with it this year. Like you, I can't do public transport or social media as it's so overwhelming. I hope this community can help us both. 

I just do pencil/charcoal sketches of animals. I have some coloured pencils which I have tried but I didn't like the effect.

You're not invisible here!

I see your posts!

Hi Lotus thank you. 

And congrats on your diagnosis! I didn't do the AQ, my autism was picked up at school and they and my GP pretty much just sent off for me to be assessed. It took a while though lol. I have done the AQ myself since just to see and I also scored 42!!

I'm really grateful that this community is here. I wasn't sure at first but I'm really glad I decided to join it in the end. I've not even been here for 24 hours yet but I already feel understood and like I belong. Apart from my sister everyone in the real world doesn't understand me or really even acknowledge I'm here. 

It's very much like being a ghost I imagine.

Lotus said:

I hope you enjoy chatting with us.

I already am  

Hi Lonehare12 and congrats on your diagnosis!! Struggling with interacting with others and being different is what I find hardest. And change. I really struggle to adapt to changes whether they're small or big. 

Lonehare12 said:

A long time ago my husband used to laugh at my sketches and it stopped me, but now I realise it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

I'm sorry to hear that but I'm glad you can now see that it doesn't matter what others think. All that matters is you're enjoying yourself. So long as you are happy and enjoy it then absolutely GO for it!! 

What do you like to paint? Is there anything you specifically love?