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Hi

Just_me

I’m new here and wanted to introduce myself. I have written this post over and over again over the past few days because I just don’t know what words to use, so please forgive me if anything doesn’t make sense. 
I am a 45 years old and for as long as I can remember I have felt that I don’t fit in anywhere and I am different yo other people. I started copying other people, even copying the things they say. From a young age I started to build an imaginary world where there were lots of trees and animals and I felt comfortable being in this world. Even now as an adult I still put myself in that world.

My daughter is waiting for an assessment which got me researching autism and ways I can help her. While researching, my entire life seemed to fall into place. Catching my arms on door frames as I walk through the door wasn’t me being clumsy, sounds and noise that were just unbearable, having to wear track suit bottoms under jeans or work trousers because I can can’t stand the feeling of the materials on my skin and so many other things. It was all there.

Anyway I don’t want to keep going on, I only cane here to say hello

  • Hey there Just_me,

    First off, don’t be ashamed that you rewrote your post many times over. I do the same thing all the time due to social anxiety. Secondly, that’s exciting that your daughter is waiting for an assessment! I have a daughter diagnosed with Autism, though we figured it out in the opposite way (I was diagnosed first, then her). It’s a strange connection to have when you and your child both have Autism. It can still lead to miscommunication, but there is definitely a deeper understanding of each other’s needs.

  • Thank you to everyone who has responded to my message. I am not good with conversation so please don’t think I’m being rude by not responding to individual messages. After reading what people have said I was almost crying. I said to my wife it seems like I have finally found people who understand me, so thank you for that. I will try and work on my confidence to interact with people as much as I can

  • Hello  

    welcome to the NAS Community! Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope you feel well supported here and manage to connect with like-minded people. 

    Please reach out if you ever need support.

    All the best,

    ChloeMod 

  • I can’t wear jeans unless I have and even then i get home an have ti change 

    i also(mostly) have to wear socks all day every day unless im in the bath although I don’t like wearing just socks haha so I’ll go barefoot if I have no clothes on(sorry if that too much info and I’ll not go into further detail lol)

  • Hi and welcome.  You story of not fitting in is very similar to mine. Started researching recently (now 62)  and things started to fall in place.

    Hope this forum helps you

  • Hello.

    It is part of masking I think. I order to fit in you think plan things. This involves imagining what is going to happen and being prepared.

    This process can become negative by always imagining the worst case, which causes anxiety. Or it can lead to fantasies or best cases.

    A desire for perfection and predictability tends to lead to idealism, which is the fantasy world. It is better and more comforting than the real world, which is often disappointing.

    I think it can extend to relationships too, where you can end up being overly romantic.

    It doesn't sound odd to me.

  • Hi Just_me.

    I suspect and hope (now that you have found us all in the community here) you might start to find that you are no longer "just you" after all.

    Welcome.

  • Hello and welcome to the forum! I’m sorry that you haven’t been able to feel you fit in, I’m exactly the same. I also find creating your own little world can help, I always do that. I also have sensitivity to noises and sounds which can be very disturbing, I find listening to music or doing something that can help properly distract you can help with calming down and drowning those disturbing sounds out. I also struggle with clothes as well, especially labels in clothes and when I cut them it doesn’t help as the parts I can’t cut out are even sharper. 

    Anyway I hope you find this forum helpful!