What to do now?

Welcome! It's great to know that you've had some very positive experiences so far.

Reading and listening to the experiences of other Autistic people is probably the best thing you can invest you time in right now (it was for me, anyway). I mentioned some of my favourite websites and podcasts in a post last week. Give them a go and see if you like them.

And your post was not very long, so no need to apologise. You'll see a lot of much longer posts on here, as we do like to provide all the information that we think might be relevant! Sometimes I find the longer posts hard to get through and other times I find all the details fascinating, so there is no right or wrong there.

Hi and welcome to the community. I don't have any recommendations to add, just wanted to welcome you and say that I hope you find this forum useful.

Hello,  you might like look at mom on the spectrum's YouTube channel. She is a (divorced) mum of two kids, around 35 now I think. she has various suggestions.

I terms of accommodations, it depends on what struggles you have. And how good a state you're in now.

I have a list of books, but I haven't read any yet, so I can't  recommend any. I need to get on with it. It's been over 6 weeks since I found out.

You are to right, I think I want to get the ADHD one straight away (maybe that's the ADHD) as I'm so inpatient waiting for things lol . Once again thank you for being so welcoming to a new poster ️

You're most welcome! 

It's perhaps no bad thing to have a delay like that between your assessments. It will give you some time to process things after your autism diagnosis before needing to switch your focus onto ADHD - which I wish you all the best with.

I've read Dirty Laundry and liked it, too. It's by Richard and Roxanne Pink. It attempts to destigmatise ADHD and reduce the shame of not living up to the standards of others.

Their other book Small Talk is one that really made a huge difference for me, though (I've been banging on about it on this forum for the last few weeks). It's all about the lies people with ADHD tell themselves and how corrosive and soul-destroying that can be.

This is fab thank you so much. I am going to look this up now ️

Wow! I really cannot thank you enough for all the information! I will have a look at this now. I am hoping that the assessment might be through a right to choose assessment. I have had a questionnaire through from the company which my GP and me had to fill out. It says that It could be a 6 to 8 month waiting list, which I know is much smaller than a lot of waiting lists. 

Honestly thank you so much I really appreciate your help. 

Congratulations on your diagnosis!

I am happy to hear that most of your friends/family received it well, but sorry to hear that your parents were not as accepting. You might be right that part of it is because they are of an older generation that had different information about Autism way back when. There may also be a tinge of them blaming themselves for it. I think older parents of late assessed Autistics tend to feel a little guilt because knowing would have impacted their methods of parenting, but the sad reality is that for most there was no way for them to know. I was lucky to have my parents at least try to understand, because I come from an area (Midwestern USA) that is heavily engaged in anti-vaccine culture. That’s just yet another barrier that can make it hard for older generations to understand when there’s so much misinformation out there.

All that to say: My advice is to be patient with your parents. Continue masking as best as you can around them, but gently remind them that we live in a world where Autism looks very different for different people.

Here to second Bunny’s advice to read “Self-Care for Autistic People”! I find it hard to concentrate on books, as well, but this one is written in a way that is super easy to grasp.

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis" - including one covering how you might feel during the coming days / weeks / months - which you might find helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book. It discusses various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Immediately following my diagnosis, this book also taught me some important principles and enabled me to make some helpful changes - perhaps you might find it helpful, too:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

Littlemissanxious said:

during my assessment the doctor also said I should get assessed for ADHD. I have just joined the very long line for an assessment

If you live in England and are now on the NHS's own waiting list (ie for an assessment to be carried out by the NHS itself), then you might like to ask your GP about re-referring you using the Right to Choose pathway (RTC), which you are entitled to use instead if you wish.

In England (only), this enables access to certain, approved, private ADHD assessment providers who typically have much shorter waiting lists than the NHS, but with your assessment still fully funded by the NHS. 

There's a list of RTC providers for adult ADHD at the bottom of this page, for example:

NHS Sussex - NHS Right to Choose: for Autism and ADHD Assessment

Thank you so much for the recommendation  I will definitely try to find this. 

Thank you so much, I'm sorry you feel your parents may be the same. It's really not very fair is it. 

I know you said not a book but there is quite a light hearted one written about ADHD by a couple where the woman has ADHD herself. I liked it because 1. It's written from their perspective rather than just spouting facts 2. It's still informative and touches on different presentations of ADHD. It's quite easy to read in chunks which may help you concentrating wise. 3. It is funny and being able to laugh at some of the ridiculous things my ADHD makes me do helps me a lot more than being bombarded by pure facts. They may also do it as an audio book. It's called Dirty Laundry. I forget their names but it's a man and a woman.

I understand your difficulty with your parents. I never actually told mine about my autism or ADHD diagnosis because I anticipate a similar reaction and I just don't want to deal with it.