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What to do now?

Littlemissanxious

Hi everyone Relaxed️ first time poster here,

I recently received my autism diagnosis, about 4 weeks ago. I am in my early 40s and during my assessment the doctor also said I should get assessed for ADHD. I have just joined the very long line for an assessment. I have told a few very close people, my friends have been very supportive, one was very shocked however after talking to her about how I truly feel she was suprised how much I have been masking. My sister was great, she already knew and my children have been amazing, they knew all along. I truly feel I am 100% myself, fully unmasked around them as my home is my safe space. My parents though have been less supportive,  I have been met with criticism, shock and being told the doctor was wrong. I feel this is maybe from a place of fear for them as they are the older generation. Its upset me though quite abit to not be able to discuss this with them.

I guess my question is what do I do now? I feel i have been given my diagnosis but not sure what to do with it. I'd love to find out more about how my mind works,  strategies I can use and also any suggestions on how to have those conversations with my family, I have not yet told my employer either. Does anyone have any book or podcast recommendations they could suggest? I'm better at podcasts or audio books as I can't seem to concentrate long enough to read a book at the moment. 

Sorry for such a long post, any help would be appreciated Relaxed️

Parents

  • Congratulations on your diagnosis!

    I am happy to hear that most of your friends/family received it well, but sorry to hear that your parents were not as accepting. You might be right that part of it is because they are of an older generation that had different information about Autism way back when. There may also be a tinge of them blaming themselves for it. I think older parents of late assessed Autistics tend to feel a little guilt because knowing would have impacted their methods of parenting, but the sad reality is that for most there was no way for them to know. I was lucky to have my parents at least try to understand, because I come from an area (Midwestern USA) that is heavily engaged in anti-vaccine culture. That’s just yet another barrier that can make it hard for older generations to understand when there’s so much misinformation out there.

    All that to say: My advice is to be patient with your parents. Continue masking as best as you can around them, but gently remind them that we live in a world where Autism looks very different for different people.

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  • Congratulations on your diagnosis!

    I am happy to hear that most of your friends/family received it well, but sorry to hear that your parents were not as accepting. You might be right that part of it is because they are of an older generation that had different information about Autism way back when. There may also be a tinge of them blaming themselves for it. I think older parents of late assessed Autistics tend to feel a little guilt because knowing would have impacted their methods of parenting, but the sad reality is that for most there was no way for them to know. I was lucky to have my parents at least try to understand, because I come from an area (Midwestern USA) that is heavily engaged in anti-vaccine culture. That’s just yet another barrier that can make it hard for older generations to understand when there’s so much misinformation out there.

    All that to say: My advice is to be patient with your parents. Continue masking as best as you can around them, but gently remind them that we live in a world where Autism looks very different for different people.

Children
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