• Replies 27 replies
  • Subscribers 77 subscribers
  • Views 950 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Driving and Autism

Silver Fox

Dear Autistic friends

I am a neuro typical woman with a partner who very much seems to have ASD, although he will never examine this or go there himself. We have a 14-year-old boy who is not autistic. 

My partner only learnt how to drive after turning 50. He's now 57. He does seem to struggle with the multi tasking required and gets very stressed. I think he especially struggles with judging speed and distance, taking corners too fast, reading road signs, and directions. Omg his stress about where he is heading is through the roof.

The problem is, I find his driving genuinely worrying. I have been driving myself for 40 years. He very much does not want me to express my stress because this makes him more stressed and that just makes it worse. He becomes abusive and shouts at me, telling me to shut up etc. He makes me sit in the back and makes our son navigate for him, then gets stressed when that goes wrong!

Basically this is a family problem. Am I wrong to put his driving problems down to potential ASD? Does anyone here have problems driving and if so what are the challenges? 

Parents

  • Surely a Sat Nav or just using Waze on a smart phone is the way to go - can't understand why no one uses them if going to anywhere new.

    I like to drive reasonably fast and have absolutely no problem with sense of direction.  I prefer to be driving rather than a passenger .  I guess you're not a silent passenger - so are your own actions helping or making the situation worse ?

    Being Autistic doesn't guarantee your offspring would be ND so you're son can't be a guide as to whether your partner is Autistic or not

    There could be other things other than potential ASD at play here - and the only way to say its ASD or not is to be assessed - and you can't make them do that.  So seems like you'll never know if they don't wish to go for assessment

Reply

  • Surely a Sat Nav or just using Waze on a smart phone is the way to go - can't understand why no one uses them if going to anywhere new.

    I like to drive reasonably fast and have absolutely no problem with sense of direction.  I prefer to be driving rather than a passenger .  I guess you're not a silent passenger - so are your own actions helping or making the situation worse ?

    Being Autistic doesn't guarantee your offspring would be ND so you're son can't be a guide as to whether your partner is Autistic or not

    There could be other things other than potential ASD at play here - and the only way to say its ASD or not is to be assessed - and you can't make them do that.  So seems like you'll never know if they don't wish to go for assessment

Children
  • in reply to Jalapeno

    I don't have a satnav, I've used one before and never got on with it, I prefer maps, a good old fashioned map or an AA road map. I've not trusted satnav's since one nearly made me miss my sons wedding, directing us to the other side of the county. We still have problems with people coming to the house as the satnavs take them to the other end of the street and tell them they've arrived, I end up on the phone, standing outside the front door waving. A lot of satnavs still don't seem to like house names rather than numbers and the more rural you are the worse they get.

    Is he actually comfortable in the car itself? It's surprising how many people have their seats positioned poorly, the steering wheel at the wrong height, side columns in the car might block vision. I've driven so many different cars now I can often tell just by looking at them if they'll fit or be comfortable for me. Having long legs and relatively short arms, I sometimes cannot fit my knees under the steering wheel and reach it comfortably. I find a lot of modern cars feel incredibly cramped, often the cabin space is the last bit to be designed in cars and is a bit of an afterthought.

  • in reply to Jalapeno

    Hello. Yes we always use a Sat Nav. No I'm not a silent passenger. Generally I'm terrified and shouting things like "slow down" or "you can't go up there it's one-way!" Not sure I understand your point about my son? He's not autistic. Not basing the assumption that my partner is autistic on him at all, more partner's behaviour and the things he struggles with. I agree with you about him needing an assessment. To be honest, I've only just considered his problems with driving might be down to ASD, hence posting here. Thanks for taking the time to get back to me.