Recently diagnosed and struggling

Thank you. This response is really appreciated

I'm glad to have found this forum. It already feels like a safe and supportive place. It's tough to navigate this without proffesional support so at least there is community here. 

Well done for managing to register at the women's centre, it sounds like that took a lot for you to do. 

I'll add the book to my list and hopefully get round to it (I find with the addition of ADHD too it's really difficult to focus on reading but I'm hopeful medication may eventually help that)

Thank you for your response. It's really reassuring to know I'm not alone in how I'm feeling.

I completely relate with worrying about it changing how people will see/treat you. That's something I'm really trying to work through.

I do have creative interests/hobbies and I keep meaning to join clubs but can never seem to push past the barrier of starting something new especially when socialising is involved. That and the fact that people watching me do things stresses me out. But like you I do think interest related socialising feels like it'd be a good way to approach things if I can build up the confidence. 

I have self reffered to the NHS talking therapies on a few occasions but I didn't find the support they offered helpful to me. My doctor and I did discuss that but he ultimately said that those services aren't set up to manage complex trauma and neurdivergent needs so private therapy is really my only option if I want something specialised. I guess I was just suprised at the complete lack of free specialised support for autistic adults

Thank you, there are some helpful resources here. And I like the idea of my diagnoses being the start of a new journey. I think it's just a journey that will take a lot of time and patience with myself.

I think at least for now I've written off reaching out to my GP for any kind of support but I may try the book and revisit it as an option in the future if I can bring myself to do it

Hello,

I completely resonate with you, I was diagnosed in April with Autism, I'm 32 and although I obviously suspected it, it still came as somewhat of a shock. I am still processing it and slowly starting to tell more people but it's difficult because not only does it change the way I see myself, I'm worried it will change how other people will see me and change how they treat me. 

I don't have many friends, I would say I probably have two that I see in person, besides that I socialize with my partner's friends and that is difficult for me and causes anxiety.

Do you have any interests or hobbies that might help you socialize? I go to a monthly book club, I don't really engage in any social chit chat but I like to discuss the books and I have my suspicions that book clubs attract people on the spectrum so I largely feel like I can be myself.

I've also self referred to the NHS talking therapies service. There is no reason why you should have to pay for the private therapy (in the UK). If you're feeling low, anxious, lonely then then talking therapies should be made available to you and I would advise having that discussion with your doctor or self referring if that is possible in your area. 

Just know that you're not alone!

Hi AlpineS 

I just wanted to let you know what you have said completely resonates with me, I got my diagnosis in December 2024 (Im 41) and my experience has been very similar no after support and trying to work out where I go from here with a truck load of feelings and emotions.

What I would say is I've found the people on this forum are super kind and supportive and want to support each other.

I struggle to make friends (Ive been friendless for the last 2 years) and get what its like to be lonely, I keep looking for autism friendly groups but haven't found anything local yet but Ill keep trying. I managed to register at a local womens centre this morning but the effort has completely taken all my spoons for today.

Im trying to take 1 day at a time and finally trying to put myself first after 40 years of ignoring my needs, I've found that my ASD diagnosis has helped me to recognise my sensory differences and have a level of compassion for myself that I didn't before. 

Ive been reading lots of books I've found "Self Care for Autistic People by Dr Neff "  very helpful to give me tips on what might work for me and help to rebuild my energy.

Please know you aren't alone and try not to worry about other people moving at different speeds in life just give yourself time.

Hi and welcome - you have found a community here, where you can chat with others who understand how you feel. Don't worry about feeling different to your peers or "keeping up" - we are all unique and all need to find our own way. I hope this forum helps you.

Congratulations on your diagnoses and welcome to the community.

I can certainly relate to how you're feeling. Following a diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about getting our diagnosis / an explanation for our past difficulties, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion, uncertainty, and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my various ASD-related difficulties.

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

I'd suggest asking your GP to try again, and this time to do better! :)  

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, you should be also able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS, rather than needing to arrange anything privately. Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

In addition to hopefully finding this community helpful, you might also like to ask your GP for a referral to a social prescriber. Their role is to work with you, potentially over several sessions, to develop a personalised care and support plan that meets your practical, social and emotional needs. This is available throughout the UK and could include helping you to find local support groups, for example. The article below explains more:

NHS England - Social prescribing

These may also be of some help:

NAS - Loneliness

NAS - Making friends

You might be able to find some local groups via the the NAS's directory and/or through a local NAS branch:

NAS - Autism Services Directory

NAS - Branches

You might also be able to find some local groups by searching on Facebook and/or Google, including "autism" and your home area in the search phrase.