Late diagnosed

I am about three years in, from diagnosis. Please do not be hard on yourself. Take your time, read up, and breathe. Masking all your life is an unbelievable strain, and a hard habit to kick...

Your feelings are SOOO valid. Please do ask for help. Have you close family, trusted friends? Confide in them if you can. Or mental health professionals? 

I think I can safely say, the community here has your back. We are here for you. Xxx

Congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community! 

SuperfastGran said:

I’m not quite sure what to do with that.

You might find the guidance here helpful:

NAS - After diagnosis

Hello there, I’m a 66 year old Granny and received my diagnosis yesterday: I’m not quite sure what to do with that.

Bless you, ye we sound very similar. I do also wonder how much my hormones are affecting my anxiety due to perimenopause. The whole thing is just a confusing nightmare. 

You sound just like me, I was diagnosed just before Christmas at the age of 53. My anxiety seems to be getting worse and my "fear" of social interactions has gone off the scale.

Fortunately I have Bupa health insurance and I've started seeing a psychologist to see if they can help. Trying to get my head around being different and not broken is increasing difficult.

I'm on (yet another) waiting list for my local autism help group.

Oh I’m sorry to hear that, that is your experience. I haven’t found any value in sharing my diagnosis.  I’ve mostly found lots of ignorance about it. 

Thank you. It is so good to have this forum, it helps you feel less alone. 

Hi AuDHD50 welcome to the forums. I am 53 and only recently discovered I'm autistic and still getting my head around things although it is getting a bit better. My mental health has not been great for many years if I think about it properly suffering from anxiety and low mood. Initially I did feel worse but have in recent weeks felt a bit better. These forums have helped me a lot, as well as reading/watching/listening to a lot of stuff around Autism and the support/help of my wife. I do wish you well and hope you get the help you need,

I was diagnosed in my very late ffities, I had the same sort of reaction. 

I've come to the conclusion that it's best to file it away and just be yourself.

Identifyng as Autistic and spending a few years here immersing myself in it, has NOT done my MH any good at all.

The only advanatge I've discovered is that people close to you get less frustrated with my shortcomings, but that frustration is replaced by resignation, and I seem to be of less "value" to my nearest and dearest than I was pre-diagnosis. BUT I am getting older, and "devaluing" is known to be a natural part of the aging process.

You're most welcome! 

It's great to hear that you've already started receiving care from the mental health team.

I'll also just share some other links, in case they resonate or are otherwise of interest:

NAS - Meltdowns

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

NAS - Anxiety

NAS - Depression

Thank you. I hope so too. 

Hi and welcome to the community.

Just because someone can do something at one time doesn't mean they'll be able to do it forever. People age, get medical conditions, have accidents, etc.

If you think that people won't take any notice if you ask for help due to autism, maybe you could ask for help due to mental health issues and /or sensory issues?

I hope things improve for you soon.

Thank you so much for all the info. I will be sure to check out all the links. Of late I’ve been having these ‘episodes’ which led the Dr to refer me to the mental health team. They assessed me and rather than referring me for counselling they recommended sessions with a mental health nurse who will give me strategies to cope. I have only had one of these so far. 

Hi Fiona - belated congratulations on your diagnoses and welcome to the community!

Unfortunately, you're far from alone in feeling that way. I've also had lifelong struggles with depression and anxiety, for example, which turned out to be ASD-related - and these worsened in the run up to, and after, my diagnosis.

After diagnosis, it can be very common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides feeling relief about getting our diagnosis, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

I'd urge you to approach your GP for support with your struggles. You might also be able to self-refer for talking therapy (more on this below).  

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including the two that I've highlighted, which you might find especially helpful at the moment:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my own difficulties.

Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy