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Late diagnosed

AuDHD50

Hi everyone,

I was diagnosed as AuDHD last Easter and I am finding life really difficult at the moment. My diagnosis seems to have made my mental health so much worse. I feel hopeless. For years I thought I had anxiety and depression so always thought I would eventually arrive at a fix. Now I’ve found out that this is not the case and that my brain actually works differently. After 50 years of masking I don’t feel like I can ask for help or support as people’s response is ‘well you could do it before your diagnosis’ regardless of what impact that had on me. 
Any advice would be gratefully received. 

Parents

  • Hi Fiona - belated congratulations on your diagnoses and welcome to the community!

    Unfortunately, you're far from alone in feeling that way. I've also had lifelong struggles with depression and anxiety, for example, which turned out to be ASD-related - and these worsened in the run up to, and after, my diagnosis.

    After diagnosis, it can be very common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides feeling relief about getting our diagnosis, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

    I'd urge you to approach your GP for support with your struggles. You might also be able to self-refer for talking therapy (more on this below).  

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including the two that I've highlighted, which you might find especially helpful at the moment:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my own difficulties.

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Reply

  • Hi Fiona - belated congratulations on your diagnoses and welcome to the community!

    Unfortunately, you're far from alone in feeling that way. I've also had lifelong struggles with depression and anxiety, for example, which turned out to be ASD-related - and these worsened in the run up to, and after, my diagnosis.

    After diagnosis, it can be very common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides feeling relief about getting our diagnosis, this can also include working through a phase where we experience confusion and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more.

    I'd urge you to approach your GP for support with your struggles. You might also be able to self-refer for talking therapy (more on this below).  

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including the two that I've highlighted, which you might find especially helpful at the moment:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of instant solutions for my own difficulties.

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. In anticipation of that, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Children
  • in reply to Bunny

    Thank you so much for all the info. I will be sure to check out all the links. Of late I’ve been having these ‘episodes’ which led the Dr to refer me to the mental health team. They assessed me and rather than referring me for counselling they recommended sessions with a mental health nurse who will give me strategies to cope. I have only had one of these so far.