Overwhelmed mum

NAS93847 26 days ago

I'm really struggling my son is now 4 im a single mum who works full time. He started showing signs of ASD from very early and started the assessment process at 1.5yrs old but we are still on the waiting list. I'm really struggling at the moment he's overly tactile I can't sit down on my own in a chair. He follows me from room to room no matter how long I spend with him I can't go upstairs on my own. Every car journey home from nursery is an emotional melt down over shops. He's very intelligent can read numbers and letters well and his talking has really come on he didnt say much at all b4 3. But day to day things are so difficult I can't get him into more than an inch of water washing his hair is world war 3. He often stays awake till 11ish at night if I'm not in the bed and he can't feel me in his sleep he will get up at 2 or 3 am. The overly tactile behaviours I'm finding really hard to deal with as it's stopping me from doing what I meed to do. He literally wants to be strapped to me like a badge. I love him with all my heart but I'm feeling suffocated and like everything around me in the house is falling apart. Reasoning with him doesn't work when his in this mode normally results in more crying.

Parents

CM 23 days ago
Ring the drs again, tell them how much he’s struggling and ask them to document it, ask about the right to choose pathway, detail why you think he’s autistic etcetera. Ask them to check the referral and see if they can get it going eg with right to choose.

It sounds like he’s struggling with the experience of the water- some autistic people hate it, some love it. The feeling of getting your hair wet can also be very overwhelming. He may find it easier to do a ‘hairdresser style’ of hair washing (this will also help keep water out of his eyes/from running down his face which is a big no for a lot of people) and then bath with a shower cap (or even goggles!). You could try to work on washing in the morning or at weekends when he might be less overstimulated.

Lots of people who are tactile seeking/struggle with anxiety like weighted blankets, weighted vests, and stuffed animals (both weighted & normal). “Body socks” are also growing in popularity. You could try a stuffed animal that *you* have for a little while, and then try ‘gifting it’ to him so he feels connected to you when you’re not there.

Ask him to consider what he likes about being close to you- reasoning with him may be too direct and make him feel like he’s being punished when he’s struggling with emotional regulation already. Having a discussion with him that is led *by him* when he’s feeling calm could help you come up with solutions together.

i say it a lot but: Riding for the Disabled. Horses are amazing for things like this, if he can find safety in other places (people & animals although it’s often easier with animals!) he can start to build independence. I’m sure there are other things out there, I specifically mention RDA as it’s what I’m involved in but anything where he can find safety in people who aren’t you- hobbies and such.
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CM 23 days ago
Ring the drs again, tell them how much he’s struggling and ask them to document it, ask about the right to choose pathway, detail why you think he’s autistic etcetera. Ask them to check the referral and see if they can get it going eg with right to choose.

It sounds like he’s struggling with the experience of the water- some autistic people hate it, some love it. The feeling of getting your hair wet can also be very overwhelming. He may find it easier to do a ‘hairdresser style’ of hair washing (this will also help keep water out of his eyes/from running down his face which is a big no for a lot of people) and then bath with a shower cap (or even goggles!). You could try to work on washing in the morning or at weekends when he might be less overstimulated.

Lots of people who are tactile seeking/struggle with anxiety like weighted blankets, weighted vests, and stuffed animals (both weighted & normal). “Body socks” are also growing in popularity. You could try a stuffed animal that *you* have for a little while, and then try ‘gifting it’ to him so he feels connected to you when you’re not there.

Ask him to consider what he likes about being close to you- reasoning with him may be too direct and make him feel like he’s being punished when he’s struggling with emotional regulation already. Having a discussion with him that is led *by him* when he’s feeling calm could help you come up with solutions together.

i say it a lot but: Riding for the Disabled. Horses are amazing for things like this, if he can find safety in other places (people & animals although it’s often easier with animals!) he can start to build independence. I’m sure there are other things out there, I specifically mention RDA as it’s what I’m involved in but anything where he can find safety in people who aren’t you- hobbies and such.
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