Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone
I hope you're all doing well. I'm reaching out because I'm feeling quite isolated and could really use some support and advice from people who might understand what I'm going through.
I struggle a lot with socializing. This has made it difficult for me to make and keep friends, and unfortunately, I don't have any friends right now who I can truly be myself around without masking. While I do have friends, they're not close, and I often feel like I have to hide parts of myself when I'm with them.
On the bright side, I have a very supportive boyfriend who I live with, and my parents, who I can also be myself around. They accept me for who I am, and I'm very grateful for that. However, I still feel sad because I don't have any friends with whom I can fully relax and be authentic.
Over the last few months I've began the process of unmasking around my friends, but I've been very hurt in the process and long story short - they've all pretty much backed off / disappeared from my life. I'm not ready to open myself up again just yet to try to make authentic connections. I need some time to recover and focus on accepting my current situation and to reach a place of acceptance and peace with not having true friends.
If anyone else has experienced something similar, how do you cope with feeling isolated or having to mask around most people? Do you have any tips on finding contentment and peace with my current situation while working towards a place where I can open up again?
Thank you so much for reading and any advice you might have.
Hello!
Socializing is very difficult for me also. I've had many friendships fade away, even when not masking. What you said about finding friends who you can be authentic around is so important - making new friends, building upon and nurturing friendships takes time and effort, from both sides. I would not say that you need loads of friends, but having a few good, genuine friends can make life better. Quality over quantity.
Your parents and your boyfriend are supportive and understanding? That's great! Seek out those qualities in others. If their behaviour changes for the worse when you show your authentic self, that says more about them than it does about you.
Be the best version of yourself, and the people who stick around when you are authentic and open - these are the people you want to be with. Finding these people takes time and effort, but it is worth it. It took me several years to realise that.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
Thanks for your support