Hi, lurking in the background

Hi, lovely to hear from you! I used to use mainly film, medium format mostly, and hated the big digital cameras. Then I found a small digital Leica second hand and was hooked so that's all I use now, apart from an occasional bit of film or instant. Phone photos can be just as good these days though, it doesn't matter what kind of camera your use, it's only what you make on it that counts at the end of the day! Honestly, my phone has taken better photos than my cameras on occasion! 

I'll have a look for the photo thread though, thanks! 

Welcome. I too an self diagnosed after much research to support my son. Interesting thought re menopause and also Arise mentioned losing someone. I think both are applicable to me. I was in my late 50 s when I came to that conclusion after losing my last parent. This Forum has been helpful in realizing I am not alone in difficulties I face. Somehow when I was younger I got by, but now so much is a struggle. 

I used to do a lot of photography of woods, flowers scenery etc.and had a good camera for this, but pre digital. I currently use my phone for photography and since being a parent have had less time for it. There are some people on here who are very skilled with digital photography and I have enjoyed many of their posts. There is a thread on here somewhere with them. I look forward to seeing some of your photography.

It is interesting. Maybe in some cases there’s a life event that triggers a dawning realisation. I think that’s how it was for me. The death of a parent. 

I knwo what you mean. I was a good customer facing engineer and the best to send to an upset customer. I empathised with peoeple being hacked off at work, adn when our gear broke I fixed teh customer as much as I fixed the machinery. My company liked that, but still dicked me around until I left once they figured out I was not quite like the others... 

If I'm on my own time I like to be alone, walking or similar. I have one friend who I work with doing ceramics, but otherwise prefer to avoid people. For work though I'm dealing with the public all day talking to strangers, which is weirdly enjoyable as it's about something I'm passionate about. I guess it's like putting on a 'public' mask but then getting to talk only about what interests you,  so it's ok. 

Thanks, it's good to be here!

Welcome to the community! I hope you will enjoy connecting and find like minded people. 

It definitely seems a lot of us discover in our 50s why we are so different, do we search for it or does it finally catch up with us I wonder. 

I didn't really know anything about it either and probably because I spent my working career in jobs where it didn't matter (bookbinder, archaeologist) it was never an issue...plenty of people were odd there too! 

I think I was very lucky in that respect, I've always been drawn to the more left field jobs, so that helped, though I was always painfully uncertain around people I didn't know. Doing a market stall helped with that. 

Thanks! And I agree completely, the woods are where I go to let out emotions, sometimes I howl (quietly), sometimes I dance where no-one can see me. The woods take all your emotions and give you peace in return.

I'm awake to the possibility that like my avatar most of you is actually NOT your physical body, I think we might actually have  "souls".

It follows then that this physical existence (which currently is all we can experience outside of "dreamtime" Abrigines might drink petrol but they do seem to understand the sprit realm quite well) is possibly a unique not to be repeated experience, and cutting it short might actually be a really bad idea. 

Also being "me" I would not want to transition to a new way of existence, having left this one so defeated that I had to quit it, rather than experience all it had to offer.

I am SO bloody glad I didn't mange to off myself in my twenties. Mostly when you feel rubbish it's a result of toxicity from other people.

Nihil Illegitimi Carborundum ! (which I believe is pig latin for "Don't let the Bar-Stewards grind you down")

In some ways I think I do ‘like people’ in theory - it’s just being around them thats I don’t much like! Especially when there’s a lot of them! 

Hi Tally - yes - as an escape route in desperate times it pops into my mind as an option. My conviction that it wouldn’t actually be ‘peaceful’ though is a major deterrent! Like you I find talking to other autistic people on here very reassuring and helpful. 

I seem to find a lot of people on here who were diagnosed in their fifties. I’m glad to hear Roy that you’re finding life more condusive to your happiness since your diagnosis :)  

Welcome aboard!

I'm sure you'll find lots of like minded folks here, I was diagnosed in Feb, almost 50 , always knew but never plucked up the courage to talk to anyone about it till last year when  it got too hard to cope. 

I like that this place is  "the woods" to some people. I like the woods,  usually after dark when they're empty , just me and the dog. One of the few places I can totally unwind.

Hi and welcome to your tribe, I tried to keep all the plates spinning for years, in the end it led to a massive burnout after I finally realised why I’m different. I too get dark thoughts, I now spend more time doing what I want and don’t really engage with the world much, I do find it a great help talking to people here, I thought I was the only person who functions like I do. Until the age of 54 my understanding of autism was zero.

Thanks! Nice not to be the only one amongst the trees

Welcome to the woods. It’s nice in here!

Hi Tulip52, thanks and see you in there :) 

Hi Kate Kestrel, that's sounds so much like me, the tiredness as well. I too contemplate suicide but not in the 'i want to end it all' kind of way, just as a peaceful option one day if I decide I've had enough. It's like having an exit strategy I suppose.  It's lovely to 'meet' people who understand where I'm coming from after a lifetime of not!