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I feel like I'm acting all the time

AmyMaybe
1 month ago

Hi, I'm new to the forum.

I'm still school age, and my brother is autistic. I haven't got an official diagnosis, but I have a lot of symptoms of autism, and I have talked to a specialist who agrees that there is a strong likelihood that I'm autistic. I feel like I'm acting all the time (including to my parents), and I don't know how to stop. I'm so many different personalities at the moment and it's exhausting trying to keep up. I'm a different person in all my subjects and I don't really know who I am any more. I used to only mask at school but now I can't face my parents any more, so I don't have any down time where I can recharge. My parents don't know that I think I might be autistic, because they spend quite a lot of time on my brother (which I don't blame them for at all). Occasionally I have meltdowns that I call panic attacks at school when the music is too loud or the lights are too bright or the temperature is too hot, but other than that no one knows that I might not be normal. And I'm not sure how long I can keep that up for. Any tips on how to stop acting (at least part of the time)? Should I tell my parents what I think or should I go through my school? I don't want to worry them - my brother is going through a difficult patch right now. Thanks.

Parents
  • 1 month ago

    It seems to me that you need to tell someone about your problems. You are not your brother's keeper, neither should you try to cover up your difficulties because he is also having problems. I suspect that you are a 'people pleaser', not at all uncommon in autistics. This is why you feel that you are acting, it is because you are trying very hard to be as close as you can to what you think other people want you to be. It is not easy to stop or reduce doing this, you could probably benefit from some form of talking therapy.

Reply
  • 1 month ago

    It seems to me that you need to tell someone about your problems. You are not your brother's keeper, neither should you try to cover up your difficulties because he is also having problems. I suspect that you are a 'people pleaser', not at all uncommon in autistics. This is why you feel that you are acting, it is because you are trying very hard to be as close as you can to what you think other people want you to be. It is not easy to stop or reduce doing this, you could probably benefit from some form of talking therapy.

Children