Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey folks,
I'm Riley, formally diagnosed early last year aged 37 and only now starting to think about who l really am after all these years of masking.
I had suspected autism for a few years, but it's only now looking back on my life that I realise just how obvious it all was. I stim, I have shutdowns. I was "gifted" and adults would always tell me how smart and grown up I was. I struggled with depression and social isolation and i thought the answer was to study. I take things quite literally, I studied body language using library books as a child lol.
I've found most online spaces are full of people much younger than me and while its lovely to meet new people just starting out their adult lives, I really want to find friends who are at my life stage and figuring out who they are while trying to decide if they want to disclose professionally, whether to tell friends and family etc.
I'd love to hear your late diagnosis stories and how you're doing now.
Riley, the first book I read was 'An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis' by Gillan Drew. A perfect book for a beginner, it led me to seek an assessment; I am indebted to the author. It is an autobiography of difficulties with life, relationships, family, house-sharing, studying at uni etc. I found parallels in so many of the pages that I just knew I was following the right path.
I then moved on to Temple Grandin's 'The Autistic Brain', a much heavier read, followed by many titles you will find recommended in these threads. Pete Warmby's 'Untypical' was, for me, a bit of page-turner; an autobiography style account of an adult diagnosis, told with the help of humour. He is a teacher.
Have you read 'The Reason I Jump', by Naoki Higashida? It is described as 'One Boy's Voice from the Silence of Autism'. An excellent work, he wrote it when just thirteen years old. I certainly recommend it.
Keep on reading...
Ben
Hi Riley and welcome to the NAS community. You are amongst friends here and like minded people.
I had an early diagnosis at 17 but I've found it hard going since as there is little support for autism when you're no longer a child. I'm glad children get support but I wish adults did too. But I guess that's the beauty of this forum. We can support each other when we need to and that's great.
I hope you feel at home here.
See you around this place.
Best wishes,
Isadora.
Thank you :) I'm definitely enjoying reading all the posts here, everybody seems nice too, which is really encouraging.
Mm, I found most resources are targeted at parents of autistic children, as if somehow adults don't exist heh.
Hi Riley, this is a good place and I'm sure you'll fine some support and like minded people. It takes time to integrate it all into your life and I don't think it ever stops.....but there's a new found calmness in my life now. There are times l definitely know myself and times when i still havent got a clue....and everything in between! Wishing you the best.
I'm 44, will be 45 in June.
There's sweet FA for Autistic Adults. However, we can find out own methodologies of focus.
I kinda do that too. It's incredibly difficult to protect yourself mentally, but the physical stuff like food, water, charger etc. is very doable. Any variable you can remove like that makes things at least a little simpler.
Hi Ben, thank you for the warm welcome.
I'm glad you managed to get diagnosed and it's helped you find a community. Feeling different from everybody else and not understanding why is tough, especially when you hide whole pieces if yourself from others. Secret stimming definitely seems to be a theme in all the late diagnosis folks I've seem share their story.
I have read a few books, I'm really enjoying Temple Grandin's work (especially as she has a special interest in animals as I do, which come through in her work). Are there any books you especially recommend?
I can completely understand that, there is a lot of unpack :)
Anxiety can be debilitating - I hope you find so coping techniques that help you through it. The thing I've found that helps me is planning for some of my perceived "bad things" that could happen - I carry important with me just incase I need them - umbrella, water, sunglasses, ear plugs, needle and thread etc.
It means I always have a bag with me, but at least means I can leave the house without spiralling every time
I was also diagnosed last year in my mid 30s.
I, uh, have a lot to deal with sanity-wise (or anxiety) so things like disclosing it professionally or soul-searching on who I am kinda takes a backseat. I'm mostly just trying to figure out how to use this knowledge on why my brain works this way to recover and get by. It's a long process.
Hello Riley,
I had a late diagnosis four years ago, aged 67, but the thirty years difference means nothing, our stories are more or less the same.
I signed up to this forum right after my assessment and now, having met many members with similar back-stories, have certainly not regretted it.
Burnouts and shut-downs have plagued me for decades, and I've stimmed ever since I can remember... learning to do it in secret as a child due to being constantly teased by the other kids.
If you have not already done so, I recommend you read some of the many books on autism; knowledge and understanding brings great relief.
Welcome to the forum.