Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey folks,
I'm Riley, formally diagnosed early last year aged 37 and only now starting to think about who l really am after all these years of masking.
I had suspected autism for a few years, but it's only now looking back on my life that I realise just how obvious it all was. I stim, I have shutdowns. I was "gifted" and adults would always tell me how smart and grown up I was. I struggled with depression and social isolation and i thought the answer was to study. I take things quite literally, I studied body language using library books as a child lol.
I've found most online spaces are full of people much younger than me and while its lovely to meet new people just starting out their adult lives, I really want to find friends who are at my life stage and figuring out who they are while trying to decide if they want to disclose professionally, whether to tell friends and family etc.
I'd love to hear your late diagnosis stories and how you're doing now.
Hello Riley,
I had a late diagnosis four years ago, aged 67, but the thirty years difference means nothing, our stories are more or less the same.
I signed up to this forum right after my assessment and now, having met many members with similar back-stories, have certainly not regretted it.
Burnouts and shut-downs have plagued me for decades, and I've stimmed ever since I can remember... learning to do it in secret as a child due to being constantly teased by the other kids.
If you have not already done so, I recommend you read some of the many books on autism; knowledge and understanding brings great relief.
Welcome to the forum.
Ben
Hi Ben, thank you for the warm welcome.
I'm glad you managed to get diagnosed and it's helped you find a community. Feeling different from everybody else and not understanding why is tough, especially when you hide whole pieces if yourself from others. Secret stimming definitely seems to be a theme in all the late diagnosis folks I've seem share their story.
I have read a few books, I'm really enjoying Temple Grandin's work (especially as she has a special interest in animals as I do, which come through in her work). Are there any books you especially recommend?
Riley, the first book I read was 'An Adult with an Autism Diagnosis' by Gillan Drew. A perfect book for a beginner, it led me to seek an assessment; I am indebted to the author. It is an autobiography of difficulties with life, relationships, family, house-sharing, studying at uni etc. I found parallels in so many of the pages that I just knew I was following the right path.
I then moved on to Temple Grandin's 'The Autistic Brain', a much heavier read, followed by many titles you will find recommended in these threads. Pete Warmby's 'Untypical' was, for me, a bit of page-turner; an autobiography style account of an adult diagnosis, told with the help of humour. He is a teacher.
Have you read 'The Reason I Jump', by Naoki Higashida? It is described as 'One Boy's Voice from the Silence of Autism'. An excellent work, he wrote it when just thirteen years old. I certainly recommend it.
Keep on reading...