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The Aspie Within the woman

Ghostwriter

Hello I have just Joined this site.  At the direction and recommendation from the latest psychologist who has been sent to work with me or " sort me out " as the case maybe  well good luck with that ! I am on approximately at a guess therapist number 17 this one has lasted longer than all the rest because she buys me coffee  . Grrrrr !! I am very frustrated on the simple fact of the invention of windows 8 this is the current bain of my life along with the world being a large ball of spinning beauty inhabitated by humans who I  simply seem to confuse or scare the *** out of or completely irritate and piss off  , I am not proud by any means . To achieve the opposite outcome in a conversation is a skill I have mastered I have had 35 years experience . Anyways I just wanted to say Hello to people as apparently I need to stop being such a hermit and instead of focusing on hacking into Wikipedia I need to start being around people "more like me" apparently  and be more well erm........... Sociable so Hello everybody . I hope this introduction went Ok any thoughts gratefully recieved .

  • Thanks Pink68 I do try my best with things very Kind words so Thank you say hi to your daughter for me !  . and Longman I have a relatively unique communication style which involves Bulldozing and Monopolizing any group of people you sure as hell know Im in it as a rule never been a wall flower I go straight in and then chaos erupts I need to learn the wall flower technique . Stand at the side and Observe instead of CONTROL tactics I think if I monopolize conversations then I dont have to communicate on a two way level I do it all the time . I have a mouth like a Machine Gun my dad reckons . I am getting more aware of it. I hate social situations its the nerves makes me act like a complete Twaat and people think who the hell was that who ordered the CLOWN ? I panic then I over compensate then I control then it all goes wrong then I think *** it try again next time I am trying its just not easy is it when the first question is how the hell do I handle this ! and my answer has always been My way ! I did this at school I have not grown out of it I seriously have to start to learn to be doing better. thing is Aspergers was never about in the 1990's and I was just labelled the child of all challenge and behavioural problems as for the communication style If I had not of been put in such a Catholic school of the forgiving by going to confession  I'd of been out on my ***. But I learnt everyday to confess my sins and all was forgiven till the next time and so it went on and on and on I no longer confess my sins I try make light of them and just keep brushing myself down getting back up and moving on . Its just a shame people around me dont do the same but apparently throwing a large stone in a river sinks to the bottom and Im fine but I create ripples and this is often the point I am long gone onto another subject another disaster I just try to be happy but I understand I can be hurtful and selfish I am not because If I know people are upset I am sorry I just not a mind reader I do tend to need things spelt out explained or written down  

  • Welcome!

    Ghostwriter I just wanted to say as an NT with an Aspergers daughter your post made me smile on a very dull day!

    I love your attitude and if my daughter (9) grows up with a little of what you got I'll be more than happy ;)

  • Its sad that social communications is one of those aspects of autism/asperger's that health professionals such as psychologists and psychiatrists, don't think significant enough to take seriously.

    Lots of people suffer needlessly and get no help. Because its automatic for NTs they don't see how there can be a problem.

    Two things are at work - non-verbal communication, and whether the environment affects the coherence of speech spoken by you or heard from others.

    For the former you can learn some responses, at least to reading non-verbal, if not at all easy to change yours. But books on body language are pointlessly detailed about the minor nuances that don't crop up and dont matter (they seem to disregard the everyday ones as too obvious to give time to).

    You can however observe conversations around you and try to identify the main non-verbal/body language responses, and practice these so you can at least put up some show of compliance. Be like an actor, indeed some books on acting deal with non-verbal communication if a little too "theatrically" although affectation might further help hide difficulties. Likewise this will help you pick up non-verbal messages, even if you have to work them out.

    If the environment affects the clarity of what you hear, or makes it harder for you to enunciate clearly, try to avoid getting in the middle of social gatherings - mingling as they call it. Stay towards one side of the room, near the wall, so sounds only come from one direction. They may not come to you, and think you stand-offish, but if you can hear and speak more clearly that's more important.

  • Welcome.  I totally agree about Windows 8, and I have moaned about it on another forum myself!

    There are a few of us adult Aspies on here (some diagnosed, some seeking diagnosis).

    Hope you find it suits what you're looking for on here.