Disabilities and loneliness

it definitely is a challenge and thank you, that’s kind of you to offer.

I find socialising difficult too and that’s a shame that you got banned. I find that apps like that can be stressful since they ban you or are not very good representation of the neurodivergent community. I appreciate that but I’m not in the midlands myself.

perhaps, I don’t get out often myself, it’s hard to admit but I can’t really go out by myself, I’ll always be reliant on people to help me in that way, even when I’m older, and now i could require carers for it.

at the moment I’m looking for local autism meet-ups, although nothing is showing up in my area, that may be because it’s smaller in comparison to other areas. that’s exactly right, i haven’t found any diagnosed women in my area and it’s definitely harder to get diagnosed as autistic when you’re female and an adult.

Not being able to read people or you own emotions is quite the challenge.  makes it very hard to engage with people.
If you want to talk about it, please feel free to message me, i know I find it beneficial.

I also find small talk difficult and struggle to read emotions in people as well as struggling to identify my own at the same time.

that sounds good about the blog research, I’ll look into that and make notes of it. that was helpful advice since i like to organise things. thank you, I do often feel like I need to “seem like I’m living my best life” I think that’s due to the years of masking beforehand and also feeling as if I’m behind in life due to being disabled by my disabilities. 

it’s not too personal, you’re allowed to ask that, I think it’s better to be honest and open anyways. I struggle for the same reasons as you e.g. lacking small talk skills but also other things like feeling like I don’t fit anywhere, struggling to find neurodivergent people my age, becoming overstimulated easily around people, misreading social cues, infodumping too much

i hope those answers provide more clarity since because I’m used to my traits, i find it difficult to explain what my experience of being autistic is.

Iain said:

If it isn't too personal, can you tell us why you don't think you can make them pease?

This is a good question.  Perhaps if the OP is able to share, we can all then see that we have the same (or similar) issues ... there is some comfort in that which enables us to forgive ourselves to some extent.

As Iain says, it takes a lot of effort. I find small-talk very difficult. I am also alexithymic and am not able to read emotion in others - I am not able to read (on an emotional level) if people are happy to see me or happy to talk to me, which makes engaging with people very difficult and stressful.

I would like to learn how to socialise more, but I find it very difficult.

AM said:

I’ve been meaning to start a blog even though I’m unsure of how to and what to write on there.

I would suggest reading a range of other blogs who cover related subjects to the ones you are interested in.

Make notes on their style, content, frequency of posting etc and build up some ideas on how you can make it work for you.

One very important thing to remember if that it should be fun. It is all too easy to fall into a bleak mood if you get a negative post on the blog or feel pressured into seeming that you are living your best life and end up faking it to try to be making it.

Honest and authentic posting is the best way to go in my opinion. People (the ones you want to reach anyway) will feel that and appreciate it and the trolls are going to be there regardless so learn to spot them and filter them out.

AM said:

I don’t have any friends and also struggle to make them because of the autism. 

If it isn't too personal, can you tell us why you don't think you can make them pease?

From my side I find I lack the skills to engage in a lot of the small talk although I have learned to script this over the years. It takes a lot of effort and in the end I prefer to keep it very occasional only that I interact with friends and prefer the less demanding online coversations (like here for example) instead.

I'm only asking so we can come up with suggestions for you IF you do want to make more friends.

I am 50 and a guy.  I work, so I meet people there, but I find socialising very difficult for to my social 'challenges' and sensory issues.  I try to be a bit social online, and was enjoying the hiki app for a while, but I was banned - I suspect because one of the mods was anti-Semitic and criticised a post calling for the destruction of Israel.
I try to meet people IRL - a local autism meet-up. (Im in the midlands - I can send you the facebook link if you want it)) but even that is difficult.

Perhaps you could try a local autism meetup, or maybe try to find people on here that live near you and just meet for a coffee and a chat occasionally?   I guess i is more difficult for autistic women, as there are fewer "diagnosed" autistic women and going for coffee at a meetup with a bunch of socially awkward guys could be intimidating.

Sorry I don't have any better suggestions.

thank you, I’ve been meaning to start a blog even though I’m unsure of how to and what to write on there. I don’t really play video games but appreciate the advice! 

that sounds interesting 

Hi there! So long as you have an internet connection and a computer, you should get creative. I keep myself busy in my spare time with creative projects. Start a blog or a YouTube channel. WordPress is great for blogging as you get a big community with it and meet people online with similar interests.

If you like video games, join Twitch. You can chat and contribute to live streams and that's a good way to socialise a little. There's always someone streaming, too, so find streamers you like! It does help you feel less lonely. 

Creativity is really important, though, it's the thing that's kept me sane over the last 10+ years working on my writing projects.

I find occulus to be a breath of fresh air.  Spare time I love cataloguing my stamp collection (1918 hyperinflation era)

Hi em thank you for replying, I don’t know who you are obviously but by what you’ve said I think you sound like a lovely person. that’s exactly how I feel, I don’t have any friends and also struggle to make them because of the autism. 

that makes so much sense, when I see what people my age are doing I often feel behind! those are some good suggestions, I’m actually quite bad at navigating my way round so don’t go out often, hence why I don’t feel very independent.

I understand, I also don’t know what I’m doing and thank you for taking the time to write this response out.

Hi I’m 23 F, I’m in a similar position as you. I have autism and other disabilities too. I’m house bound pretty much 5-6 days out of the week I’m struggling a lot atm with loneliness so I get you. Even if I make friends it’s hard enough to connect with them because of the autism but finding common ground is harder than ever I feel like so many people my age are at such a different phase of life than I am, they’re travelling, settling down, starting family’s and I’m just here feeling like I’m just existing. My family suggested I just go out even if it’s on my own and just go to a cafe, library and shopping but again it’s on my own. I’ve tried online chats but it never moves outside of the chats. Anyway I don’t really have any advice because I don’t know wtf I’m doing myself haha I’m just saying I get you and I feel ya loneliness