Adult ?? Autism

I was told in school I was stupid and disruptive.  My best friend had downs syndrome and I wasn't interested in anything the other kids were.  I got on better with older or younger people.  Being called stupid and useless was probably the worst thing.  It wasn't until I got a new therapist that she mentioned that I had Asperger's.  The reason I was being disruptive and appearing to be the naughty child was because I was bored and frustrated.  I'd regularly get in arguments with my teachers, but not with teachers in subjects I enjoyed and wanted to learn a lot about, like languages and science. 

Even if you're not sure about visiting your GP about autism specifically you can ask to be referred to a councillor because you say you're struggling with new situations and then you can bring the idea up with them.  I've lived with a 'possible' diagnosis now for about 3 years so next year I'm determined to get my GP to listen to me and get me diagnosed and a new therapist (I moved cities 2 years ago so I no longer have my helpful previous doctor :( ).  I'll just have to make sure I'm prepared with notes because I'll know I'll not get my words out right, or forget something

I agree having children (I have two) pushes things way outside our comfort zone and the pressures are enormous.

Hello, thanks for your reply.   I scored 38 in the AQ test.  maybe will take to docs in the new year if I feel brave enough!!! So strange.. How I have felt for a long time, now might actually be for a reason. All the problems and  feeling isolated and frustrated for such a long time.  More so now as I have the children.. Prior to this I could manage daily as I didn't Mohave to face certain things.  thanls for your advice

Isabel said:

I know it might feel a bit uncomfortable for you to do this yet, but particularly when dealing with people at school don't be afraid to say you are on the autism spectrum as they will be very helpful and understanding.

Whilst not wishing to burst anyone's bubble, or give OP any more worries, this isn't necessarily the case.  My youngest is in an autism unit and they regularly cause her upset and don't appear to understand her, during a meeting last week at which her teacher and SENCo were present, knowing I have Asperger's, they not only did not make reasonable adjustments for me, they were defensive, attacking and downright discriminatory towards me.  I had to leave in tears at one point, yet even when I re-entered the meeting, they carried on, criticising my autistic traits.

OP, don't fear anything about seeing the GP.  They see all sorts of people for all sorts of things.  Complete the AQ10 and take it along and assert your right to an assessment under statutory guidance (the Autism Strategy, resultant from the Autism Act).

I know it might feel a bit uncomfortable for you to do this yet, but particularly when dealing with people at school don't be afraid to say you are on the autism spectrum as they will be very helpful and understanding. I had to go into a busy shopping centre the other day to exchange a present and had a quiet word with the staff in the shop, I was gobsmacked by how helpful, professional and discrete they were about making the ordeal bearable. The world really is changing as autism is more recognised and understood.

Regards being rude, I have realised that I used to sometimes be rude as a defensive measure and have actually calmed down since my diagnosis. If others see you as rude simply because you are struggling to make small talk or eye contact that is more difficult, particularly older family members who may not be understanding even if you explained, but if you can talk to your partner and he can support you in awkward situations that may help.

best wishes

Thanks for your message.  It is nice to know there were other people in the same boat. I am really struggling with talking to people I do not know very well In person.  Also with christmas approaching I am starting to feel anxious about all the get togethers.  I know I come across as rude, especially to my partners family.  will have a good look through this web site for advice.  Thanks again.  

Hello, 

thank you for your message.  I have completed some online tests that give a strong indications of aspergers.   i don't know if I can visit my gp yet.  I know that is the only way to get an answer.  I also feel quite silly and abit worried at what a doctor might say. I find it hard to express what i need to say.  My younger son attends a p re school and I have needed to speak to the manager about a certain issue. Instead I emailed her! I feel quite awkward when I see her as she is probably wondering why I have done this.  But I just can't talk to people. This is starting to become harder with the schools. 

Thankx again 

Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I absolutly relate to your experience. Although I am male and my children are now grown up and I am divorced. I went through the same things all my life. I have not worked for 10 yrs as I have Fibromyalgia. A lot of my other problems were blamed on that but just a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with Aspergers and things are now beginning to make sense.

What Isabel says is right and the best  advice you could get so I'm not going to add anything to that but just thought I'd tell you that I totally relate to your experience.       This is a good web site with all the relevent information you could need and plenty of very helpful and friendly members. I hope you keep in-touch.

charles.

Please don't worry, you've made a brave step coming on here. Do try the online tests, and go and see your GP. In fact you may find now being in a school environment helps, as there are lots of specialist and understanding people (e.g. the school's Special Education Needs Co-Ordinator, or even just the teachers and TAs) who will be so much more familiar with what you are going through than when you were at school. They will also be able to support you if your children show any signs of being on the autism spectrum - there is so much help today, and you will be able to understand them the most. I have found actually that my autism does not affect my relationship with my children, in fact they are the people I feel most comfortable with and able to be myself.

all the best

Hi - welcome. If you do a search you'll find posts relating to yours.  Also if you google you can fill in a questionnaire which gives you a score which indicates whether you may/may not be autistic.  Worth having a look?