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Don't know where to start

Kel82
10 months ago

My daughter is 16 and over the years I have often thought she shows signs of autism but never looked into anything official. Over the last 12 months (exams, starting college) she has become very unsettled. 

She is very emotionally up and down - could be normal teenage hormones - but they are often to extremes 

She has become more socially awkward - initially put down to COVID and low interactions for so long. She will not speak to people she doesn't know , won't answer the door ( will sit in tears if she is put in the situation) won't buy things in shops, often comes across rude to family members because she is very short with them when spoken to.

Is extremely anxious about illness and believes something is wrong with her all the time, a headache is a brain tumor ect

She does not like social situations, parties, meals out ect

Picky with food and textures, will only eat what she knows and not try new things. 

Will not wear certain materials because they 'feel funny'

I work in education and often see parents pushing for a diagnosis (even with children we do not see signs in)  so I guess I am just wondering what some opinions are? Am I looking for something not there to fix other issues or does it sound like she may be on the spectrum and if so what do I do and where do I start?

I've not even shared my thoughts with my daughter because I don't know how she will react?!

  • 10 months ago

    I don't know if this will help but have you or her Dad (you haven't said but I guess you are Mum?) ever felt like this at any point in your lives? Often it's hereditary and once you can relate experiences it can be more easy to identify trigger points to why certain things are so EXTRA.

    I'd say speak to her about it, in terms of differences not defecits, try to shift focus on to the strengths rather than the weaknesses, medically/pathologically autism is often viewed through it's defecits and not enough for it's strengths which can lead autistic young people to lack confidence and self esteem because they are led to believe there is something wrong and unnacceptable about them as people.

    I have been holding onto a link to another thread recently as there have been some issues with seeking a diagnosis (free via right to choose) as Psychiatry UK had to pause taking on new referrals for a while. https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/33821/psychiatry-uk-----right-to-choose-referrals-temporarily-paused/322876#322876 If assessment is the route your daughter would like to go down for closure/official answers, or maybe to help with entitlement to additional support it will help to know what's available.

  • 10 months ago in reply to Bees

    Thank you I have had a look and will talk to her about it and see if she wants to do the test.

  • 10 months ago in reply to Bees

    Originally thought it was just hormones and anxiety with me but it turned out it was autism.

    Never hurts to check these things.

  • 10 months ago

    I think you should talk to her about it gently suggest the idea and see what she thinks. Explain it's not a problem being autistic and different.

    There's online tests you can do which can give you a good idea whether she night be autistic my parents helped me and introduced me to these which I believe are the most reliable ones.

    AQ10 or AQ50.

    And there's also RAADS-R

    If she wants to she could look at doing this and it might help her and might help you as well.

    Hopefully this is helpful for you both.