Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I haven't had a clinical diagnosis yet. But I spoke to a new GP who said he thinks there's a strong possibility I have autism (after a chat, and an aq test. Based on his professional, and personal experience). And a lot of puzzle pieces have fallen into place. Obviously I've recently done a lot of research and tried to get my head around all of this. And I agree, autism would answer a lot of questions. (Being diagnosed with autism isn't something I was looking for, I just wondered if there was a deeper cause for the anxiety and depression I've had since I was young).
However, I also completed the cat-q test, and quite frankly, the results have scared me. I'm 42, and have always been the odd one out in any social groups, so being a bit different has always been normal for me, although not very nice at times. I scored 145 in the cat-q test, which is pretty high I believe. I've also recently lost interest in a hobby I've had since I was a teen. It's really made me question who I am. I genuinely didn't realise I masked that much. And now I feel like a fraud, or like my life has been a facade. I don't know who the real me is.
Kinda hoping for some reassurance, and friendly advice I guess. I have literally no one I can talk to about this. I feel the most isolated I ever have been recently.
Oh, I'm new here, so if this is in the wrong place or anything, just let me know.
I'm Princess. That's the name I was given but who am I really?? As a person? I actually don't know. Since being diagnosed last year I know why I'm a little strange and different but I still feel confusion as to who I am.
It's positive reading others experiences and tells me I'm going to figure it out...eventually. I've been told it will get easier with time and that's what I'm waiting for.