Hi everyone, introducing myself :)

I like how you put that, it's incredibly accurate. 

Hi The Crow Lady, sounds like you've had a hard time like me without knowing what it is you've had, its like a lifetime of trying to piece together a dodgy jigsaw puzzle & now restarting a new one! 

Nice to meet you to!

Thank you!

Welcome

Hey Ang and welcome! Also fairly new here myself.  I also experience RSD, I have CPTSD and a few anxiety disorders. Also late diagnosed and masked my way through the vast majority of my life which saw me misdiagnosed with a personality disorder which, makes me angry as I was heavily medicated for it which I now see was completely unnecessary. 

Still, it's nice to meet you!

Hi Iain, I really appreciate you taking the time to give me all the above info & the recommended books, I will certainly have a look & buy some!

I will be sure to ask some questions when I have them. I have always avoided forums in the past because I struggle with interactions, notifications & keeping up with them but recently I have been using them & find them very useful!

Thanks again :)

AngAuDHD said:

After a lifetime of struggle I finally received my Autism & ADHD diagnosis this year. I also have RSD, OCD, PTSD, anxiety & depression to name but a few.

Autism & ADHD are different neurodiverse conditions that are related to how your brain has developed, all seemingly caused by a combination of factors which are not fully understood yet but have a high probability of being genetic (80% of cases are inherited).

These are both spectrum conditions which mean there are a range of typical traits that are caused by the different brain development. Everyone has a number of these traits and everyone has these to different intensities, so you will have a scattergun effect of them and it seems no 2 autists are the same.

Anxiety is a common autistic trait rather than a condition in its own right, as is RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) while depression and PTSD are symptoms of your experiences of the world that isn't accommodating for your traits.

This helps keep the jargon in context.

I will suggest a range of books and you can decide which are relevant to your needs:


Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara  (2014)
ISBN 9781849054331

This will help you understand more about what you are going through at the moment. It isn't a guide but shared experiences and explaining how others feel and some tips on dealing with it.


Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety - A Guide to Successful Stress Management - Nick Dubin (2009)
ISBN 9781843108955

Anxiety is a big issue with many serious impacts for us so I would recommend this to learn techniques to control it better.

From Anxiety to Meltdown - How Individuals on the Autism Spectrum Deal with Anxiety, Experience Meltdowns, Manifest Tantrums, and How You Can Intervene Effectively - Deborah Lipsky (2011)
ISBN 9781849058438

Meltdowns are our nuclear response when things build up and are incredibly difficult to control, but this book is worth reading to know more about them, to share with your partner so they know what to do when they happen and to remind yourself to get your anxiety under better management.


Autism in heels -  the untold story of a female life on the spectrum - O'Toole, Jennifer Cook (2018)
ISBN 9781510732841

Not a guide but a story of another womans experiences growing up autistic which will help you see you are much less alone than you may think. Maybe for bedtime reading to help you relax.


Managing ADHD Workbook for Women, Exercises and Strategies to Improve Focus, Motivation, and Confidence - Duan MD, Christy (2022)
eISBN: 9781638782452

A good guide for dealing with ADHD as a woman.

Lots and lots to take in here so pick and chose what you want to spend your energy and money on, but I think all will be of use to you.

For specific questions this site is the best place you will find outside of an experienceed therapists meeting, so don't be afraid to ask away.

It's good to have you in the club.

Thank you Desmond!

Hi Iain

I am not usually great with books, I used to get self help books etc but never got to starting them but now I know what I actually have I think it would be a good idea & hopefully soon I will have some time to read & follow some worksheets because I know it will benefit me a lot, so yes please if you can give me some suggestions that would be great, thank you!

Welcome Ang.

AngAuDHD said:

My psychiatrist has recommend many pathways & therapies etc but my doctor said they don't have the resources so I need to find this all myself!

Do you work well using books as a guide? There are plenty of good references we can suggest that give you information and workbooks to follow to deal with whatever aspects of autism are most an issue for you

If this is an option, let us know what you struggle most with as  we can come up with some suggestions.

Hi Ben

Thank you for your message!

Well done for getting through everything & congrats on the diagnosis at 67 finally being able to make sense of literally everything. 

Looking forward to the journey ahead 

Ang

Hi Dog

Thanks for your reply, nice to meet you too. 

Smiles back

Ang

AngAuDHD said:

its the realisation, grief for young Ang who has struggled so much & masked her way through life thinking she was useless & just an awful person.

Hello Ang,

That line resonates with me as I was diagnosed at 67. I know exactly how you feel.  I have had to work through feeling angry, bitter, resentful etc etc;  breakdowns and addictions were followed by the hell of getting off the damned pills..... three times!  Well-meaning NHS counsellors who mostly hadn't a clue, but tried.  Yet I survived it all and somehow earned a living. Masking! Oh yes, so much so that I thought it was normal and wondered if everyone did it!

Welcome to the forum,

Ben

Hi Ang,

Welcome to the family. 

Sounds like you are having a tough time right now. Here you are safe and with friends. Very nice to meet you. I myself was diagnosed late (41), and now im in my second year of knowing my diagnosis and still trying to understand myself. 

Sending you smiles. 

Dog