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Hello

CJRE_84
over 1 year ago

Hey everyone,

Just wanted to introduce myself (38M).  I'm a proud husband and father (we have two wonderful girls aged 2 and 5).  Sorry if what follows is a bit rambling, just wanted to say hello but also putting this into writing feels like a first step somehow.

Over the past few years our 5 year old has shown symptoms which have progressively lead us to believe that she may have some degree of ASD.

As we've learned more over the past few months, a lot of what we've read has resonated with me personally, and I myself have been tested and confirmed as suffering from "mild" autism.

As a starting point I'm not really sure how I feel, somewhere between a selfish sense of relief at the diagnosis (explains so much in terms of my personal journey) but also fearful (although I'm "high functioning", I also have struggles with anxiety, depression and relationship maintenance, and I struggle not to worry about my daughter and how we can begin to do the "best" things for her in terms of her longer term happiness and security).

If anyone has any suggestions on some good resources for beginners please let me know.  Specifically I'm keen to learn more about:

- the condition as a whole
- the experience of others and how they may have processed a relatively mature diagnosis at the age of 38
- positive experiences of others who may have been diagnosed alongside their children, and how they "helped" (at the minute, I feel like something of a curse to our family and am looking for some inspiration!)

Also I hope I haven't caused any offence in the above post, I know terms like "mild" and "high functioning" might be slightly controversial maybe or out of date - please feel free to correct my ignorance and help me learn!

Nice to meet you,

Chris

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Ross-Mod

    Thanks Ross, appreciate the guidance.  Sorry for the stupid question when I realize there is so much resource on this site - I struggle to filter information etc and tend to get a bit overwhelmed, so having it broken down is really helpful.

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Autumn_Trees

    Thanks for your message and reassuring words Autumn_Trees, and hello!

    I can relate a lot to what your saying here about the eureka moment, and seeing the past in a new light.  I keep trying to remind myself that my daughter will have less struggles than I have in life with an early diagnosis in place, and also that the world is a much more progressive and accepting place now on the subject of neurodiversity which is a comfort.

    Interesting that you mention your dad - I can pretty clearly see the familial link in my parents too, maybe its a generational thing I guess, but they also have no intention of being tested I'm quite sure.

  • over 1 year ago

    Hi Chris, 

    Welcome welcome! 

    It's so lovely to hear that you found comfort in getting your diagnosis and are keen to help your daughter in any way you can. 

    In many ways, she's very lucky to have you as her dad because you know what to look out for and can advocate for getting her looked at sooner rather than later. This will have benefits such as getting special measures at school, in future exams and in her workplaces, etc. 

    Like you, I was only diagnosed recently at the age of 35 so have had a 'lifetime' of not knowing about this whole side of myself but feeling quite different and sometimes alienated by the world/people. Now I know I have autism, it just feels like certain things have slipped into place - a bit of a eureka moment I suppose, where things from the past now make much more sense in context. I'm still figuring stuff out as I go but this website and forum is a brilliant resource. People post all sorts of interesting subjects to get involved with discussing and I learn a lot about myself reading these. 

    In my family, it's pretty clear that my dad is autistic too - although he refuses testing - so its clear to see the familial link.

    I'm sure people will be along shortly to offer all sorts of useful advice - I just wanted to say hello. :) 

  • over 1 year ago

    Welcome Chris. All are welcome here from all walks of life. I hope you find what you're looking for.

  • over 1 year ago

    Hi Chris and welcome to the online community! :)

    If you're looking for general information about autism I would recommend going over to the advice hub here on the NAS site - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance - which covers a wide range of topics where you can learn more, I would recommend having a look at the 'What is autism?' - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism - and 'Post-diagnosis support' - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/post-diagnosis-support - sections in particular. 

    Best wishes,
    Ross - mod