Realised in later life that I have, and always have had, autism.

Late 70s.  Always found social interaction disconcerting, scary, uninteresting and/or threatening.  This has made me feel guilty about it, ie there ‘has to be something wrong with me.’  Was it caused and/or aggravated by a socially abusive father or was I born with it?  I had to ‘go into myself’  in order to survive and feel secure.  As a result I have developed considerable inner strength, enjoy my own company, am happy in my own skin and live what I consider to be a full satisfying lifestyle.  Just occasionally however I wonder if I haven’t missed out on something in life and if so what.