New here, help needed.

Would you be able to post a link to that first video you mentioned, I would be interested in watching it

There is a YouTube video from Autism from the Inside on this with some excellent advice.. Some will try to "reassure" you that you are nit. They think they are helping. What helped me most was realising all the positive aspects of Autism which made me so successful. Again,  Paul Macaulif has an excellent video on this. It is this video that led me to admit to myself that I am Autistic. Once I knew the positive aspects, of my Autism  I was better able to deal with any negative comments from others. Autism runs in our family so, when I asked my sister if she thought I was autistic she agreed. Also I " came out" to a zoom group who understood Autism. Seems they all knew before I did. 

Hope thus helps

Thank you for all of this. I have decided I need to be more proactive. I have been going to a mental health group full of lovely people and now the weather is improving I can get out more. Just reading the replies has made me feel better 

Yes, that describes autism perfectly. I can think of nothing better than sitting reading a book on a subject I am interested in. I am reading a book on Brittany Ferries for example as I remember sailing on their ships as a child. I am going to the High Peak bookshop next week to stock up and enjoy a coffee while there.   

I like to sit and read books to learn about what I want to learn more about. It's not something too sublime, but the feeling of sitting on a relaxing table with a cup of tea by a quiet garden World's Hardest Game, listening to your favorite music and doing what you like. Can this be considered autism?

Found this too

https://www.meetup.com/birmingham-autism-meetup/events/292506970

Hello,

I’m really sorry that you feel isolated. Your friends do exist, but you’ve just got to find them.  My 21 year old son is the same so I know just how difficult that is. 

1. Do you have a welcoming church nearby? We found a very modern church in our next door town which has a cafe run by volunteers and does all sorts of charity work and groups that people can get involved with. 

2. You could volunteer at a charity to meet kindly others. I used to volunteer for Mencap. They ran a different social group each day for people with mental disabilities, coffee mornings, art clubs, etc and they were always looking for and were so grateful for volunteer help running it. The other volunteers I met were all lovely as were the people attending the clubs so it was a nice regular little social event in my week. It’s also a very understanding and accepting place.

In our area (Herts, Beds,Cambs) there’s an organisation that advertises volunteer roles and is really excellent for finding adverts from charities or volunteer initiatives looking for help. It’s called communities1st.org.uk  they send out regular newsletters with all sorts of different volunteer roles advertised. There might be something similar in your area.

3. If you are into gardening, there are always lots of volunteering opportunities in community or charity gardens so that might be worth searching.

My brother in law volunteers one evening a week for his local homeless shelter and enjoys it very much. Again I think it is a very understanding and welcoming environment.  Also, if you meet people whilst doing work, it maybe takes away some of the social pressures.

4. Have a look to see if there are any “games clubs” in your area. There are board games cafes starting up in various towns. Geek Retreat is one such outfit with new cafes starting in different areas. They run different regular board or card games evenings as well as just being places you can drop in to. I’ve read reviews from people saying that they had never felt that they fitted in anywhere socially until they found the club. It wasn’t a Geek Retreat, but we searched “board games cafe” and found a fantastic similar place near us which my son has been to a few times. They aim make people welcome, particularly if they turn up on their own.

5. Have a look at Meetup. It’s a website for people to find like minded groups in their area. I note that there is an online autistic group coming up in April for newly diagnosed autistic people to meet others and chat/learn about life on the spectrum.  There might also be face to face groups in your area

https://www.meetup.com/neurodivers-ole/events/292471591

Or as someone else has said, chat to others on this group. I’m not very techie but my son has a little group of friends that he met online and are a bit of a lifeline for him.  I’ll ask him how he found them in case you could do similar.

If I can think of anything else, I will post again, but do know that your friends exist and you will find them.

Hello and wellcome to the autism club! You are not alone here and I hope you make friends here. What are your interests? 

Hello, thank you for sharing your post. I can understand how you feel, especially the bit about people being "friendly" just because they know. I am always afraid of this. I want to be treated the same as everyone else, not as a charity case so I identify with how you feel.

Hanging around here, making some posts and commenting on some conversations. Thats how I made friends on here and found somewhere I felt finally at home. Also it might be worth checking if there are any autism support groups in your area, I found one near me and I go once a month, it really helps

As far as NT people go, not everyone will understand but I can honestly say that more often than not I have been surprised at the positivity people have shown towards me and more often than not it has not changed how they treated me.

There is always hope 

Maybe if you hang around here and join in some threads that might help? Otherwise I'm not sure, I have lost some confidence in my own social abilities or lack of them since realising I am probably autistic and I have not even been diagnosed yet. So maybe the best plan is try and find some autistic people to talk with, but that isn't always easy. I hope someone else sees this thread who has a better answer for you.