Hello

Hi, I'm going to try again as I didn't really introduce myself in my last post. I'm not sure if I can post as I haven't had a diagnosis yet. I find posting on threads really hard as it really gets to me if I don't get a reply, my brain doesn't see it as your thread/post may not make sense or there just isn't an answer. I see it as people don't like me even though I haven't met them.

I'm 45 years old and for as long as I can remember have never felt like I fitted in anywhere, I was the weird one that everyone avoided unless they wanted something. I don't want everyone to know if I get diagnosed but part of me wants to know why I'm different and why I don't fit in anywhere

I have been struggling at work recently as it seems that the managers have it in for me, so I have been signed off. The doctors thinks it stress and anxiety but whilst I have been off I seen a program on women with autism and what was being said was like that is me, even my best mate said it.

• I just feel like I don't fit in anywhere and never have to the point of thinking no one will miss me if I wasn't around.
• I find social gatherings really hard so I get classed as a loner. I also find it hard to meet new people.
• The slightest noise irritates me where it doesn't bother my mate.
• I have 1 person I can talk to about anything which is my best mate.
• I find it hard to read whether people are being sarcastic or serious and only laugh at the jokes so as not to stand out.
• I notice and remember things that others don't. My mate says I have a photographic memory especially when driving.
• I have a set routine which I hate if I have to change.
• When we are going away or out for the day I have to plan everything to the last detail and go over and over it.
• People get annoyed with me when I go over things again and again.

These are just a few. I have been going over and over in my head as to whether I could be autistic or not and whether I should seek a diagnosis or not at my age. I finally rang my doctors today and booked the next available appointment which is the 28th April.