Autism / and friendships and relationships I struggle with maintaining them

Wow that’s a depressingly sad statistic! With the way things are going with me though it doesn’t surprise me. It’s funny for me that it isn’t my autistic traits that stop me from socialising, it’s the anxiety that really affects how people see me. I always try and think “things can’t get any worse than this” but hey amazingly they can!

I read somewhere that, a very high percentage of autistic people, over 70% go their entire lives without a deep relationship or getting married.

James283,

The people who call you names are not worth you time or energy.  I do understand how it feels and I know many folks here too can relate.

Please don't let those experiences cause you to not try with friendships/relationships because there are genuine people out there (see below) who would be happy to make friends with you.  Unfortunately there are some unsavoury characters in life who will hurt others but I firmly believe that most people have good hearts. :-)

I've got no friends other than my wife and that's fine. Friends have come and gone over the years. I struggle to maintain friendships and find doing so completely exhausting. 

No one should call anyone horrible names and I'm sorry you've experienced that. 

The people that tend to call you horrible names are doing it because they are feeling horrible ie they don't like themselves or feel inadequate compared to you,it's true as this is the basis of most bullying behaviour. I realise this doesn't help you feel any better but I mentioned it because it felt like from what you had said that this bullying you received had had an impact on your confidence and it can help to realise that the bullying you suffered isn't something you should now take on ie don't be defined by it and know that although the bullying felt personal ..that it infact wasn't. I don't know if that helped at all I hope so.

I always struggled with friends. It wasn't until I met my partner and made friends within my special interests that I made more friends. But a lot of my friends are Autistic themselves so understand my struggles 

That sound exactly like me. I’m 23 Single and have no friends. People I work with think I weird, my family thinks I’m weird. I always see the good in people and unfortunately I’m yet to meet someone who hasn’t been horrible. Which sucks when you think their nice. I’ve got to a point where I keep my distance from everyone to avoid the inevitable unpleasantness. Lonely doesn’t even come close to how I feel on a daily basis. So if you ever want someone to talk to who can relate feel free to message me!

Hello James283,

I'm sorry to hear that you struggle to maintain relationships. You may find the following pages from the NAS useful: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/maintaining-relationships

All the best,

ChloeMod