Published on 12, July, 2020
I was on this site about two years ago.... Maybe more. I joined to try and ask questions.
I joined another autism site and went on there and found some answers. This site layout is not as easy to use for me. I used the same username, but I found that I forgot my password and the recovery page on this site does not work and gives error messages so I started another account which is fine.
I do have a history where I do tend to have a very narrow mindedness so I only go on a small amount of sites, but I normally go on them all the time apart from the rare occasion when I used a site like this. But I do have a history which happens both in real life and online where after the normal introductions I tend to last a while and then after so long where I can no longer keep up the pretense, I find that somehow I am bullied or people do not want to know me.... But I can recall each conversation and nothing I have said which causes this, though I do talk either far too much or I am far too quiet. I seem to be all or nothing, so I will try not to write too much incase I kill off the site, as other sites I find others will leave if I am there... But most people are not able to talk about proper things like bicycles or railways and trains and cars etc. I have tried everything to somehow fit in!
Oh. Once I thought I would really make an effort to be part of conversations... And here in Wales if one meets someone one knows, people talk (Usually to my Mum) people talk about the weather. I have no real interest in the weather so it is hard for me to study something I have no interest in and I rarely remember it for long if I do. (I am the complete opposite if it was something I like such as trains or bikes as I could talk all day about them)... So I decided the next time my elderly neighbour comes up the lane and wants to talk I will be ready! I found my youngest brothers book about the weather as he had an interest in the weather and what the clouds were called and what they mean... All the technical stuff! So I studied this book for two days and it was tough going but I did it! I learned enough so I could hold down a conversation about the weather!
Then a day later we met my neighbour and she started chatting to my mother (Usually I am one who should be seen and not heard... I should stand there politely as it is rude to walk away... And neighbour can get annoyed if I am not part of the conversation but I can't talk about what someone who knows someone else ate for breakfast or what colour wallpaper they had! But this time I was ready to be part of the conversation!)
So we met and to show I could be part of the conversation I started pointing to clouds and giving them the technical details of what they were called, what weather they made or caused etc and how high they were etc, etc.
Uhmmm! The lady just stood there with her mouth open. But she normally always talks about the weather! But it was as if she didn't want to hear what I was telling her! Why not? I don't get it!
Fortunately my Mum and my neighbour then talked ignoring me... And I stood there waiting.
Since may 2019 I have been on the list to be assessed, so I do not really know if I am on the spectrum or not. If I am not then nothing in life makes sense but I maybe half way inbetween though others say I am because if this or that...
Did wrote a whole lot more but I edited it as is boring and I write too much.
Anyway. See you guys. Nice to share but time to go.