Making friends via gaming

Always happy to help where I can

Thanks that's kind of you to come back with this. I'll pass it on to her.

You can find public servers here - https://disboard.org/servers

You can filter them to find ones for you.  Found it and though I'd come back and post it.
Though I usually find servers from being link by someone I'm taking to or Face book groups I'm interested in like Dungeons & Dragons

Thanks that's really kind of you. I'll wait for her to raised it again and then try to casually mention it and see if she can gradually start to move herself forward.

That's very kind of her. I have to be a bit careful how to raise it as she doesn't want me to find friends for her. I have to be patient and wait for her to try to reach out.

Thanks that would make her feel safer I think 

My experience of Discord has been positive on the whole.

Although the way it worked for me is that I find a game that appeals, then I look for a Discord specific to that game to either ask questions about how to play better, or find people to play with.

To ensure a particular Discord is a good fit, you can usually "lurk" first where you just read all the other peoples posts and only join in when you feel confident.

My steam community page is in my profile. Add me if you want, just make sure you tell me where you're coming from

As for specific communities, most of them revolve around the game in question that your daughter enjoys playing. I myself am part of several online discord communities, but very few of them know that I'm on the autistic spectrum.

The games which I play are now predominantly PvE games, as I don't have the temprement, reactions or the desire for PvP games by and large. PvE games are also steeped in lore, and most of it makes for interesting reading. Currently making my way through Star Trek Online, having walked away from EVE.

Being neuro-divergent online can sometimes be incredibly difficult, as most competitive PvP games give way to greifers and people being just plain horrid.

I've looked for autistic friendly communities on steam, but I get the feeling that the majority of them are made by neuro-typical people for neuro-typical people to make fun of neuro-divergency. If you find any specific groups that are ASD friendly, please send me a message, as I'd like to join

Regular.

Would you be happy for your daughter to play on discord with my son also ? Xx

Hi 

My daughter, 18 yo, uses Discord & has found it very safe. If yours wants to chat to mine she’d be happy to connect on Discord

Ok o 

Thank you . I will let my son know to do this x

hard to say really depends on what games you play if you follow any youtubers that play the games you play they often have their own discord servers you can join or you can just search on discord what games you play and servers will come up.

Hi o 

Which discord sites would you say are best for meeting new friends ? X 

I'm a gamer discord is good but it still can have a lot of unpleasant people on there that's just the nature of the internet and a large part of the gaming community just isn't very nice. It depends a lot on what kind of games she likes to play and the community around it.

Hi there 

My son is 20 and is exactly in the same position as your daughter. He is very lonely and loves gaming but has had some not nice experiences of some online. He is a lovely lad and very kind and I'd be happy to speak more xx

Co-op games are my favorite. Defiantly one of the easier ones to get to know other players on.

If she's into a certain game that's available on steam, there will likely be many groups dedicated to that game or groups which has that game as part of their regular games.

I've connected to a group by finding an invite to the group on a website or through social media or through someone I've met in the game or who is on my friends list on steam or private message on Discord

Personally I think the best way to join a group is to just let people know you're interested in joining a group through chatting in game or asking them if they are a part of a group.

I mostly play with family now rarely with someone I met at an old job. But all people I know in the real world. What important to finding someone to play with I find is to find someone who likes to play the game the same way you do. Weather you like to play fast, slow, prepare, read all the dialog etc.

I like to take the time to upgrade, build and prepare for the next area. Making sure I got a good chance of success. Some people find that too slow, and that's okay. Just gotta find the right people for you or you could end up no longer enjoying the game.

ah dont need to do anything, she will do that naturally as the games have their own in game chat and clan systems, when she plays with people online over the net and speaks to them if they have a clan they will probably invite her to a discord clan page if they have one. thats what discord was made for really, but thats not even needed as most game clans keep their communication in game.

Thanks for all these suggestions. I'll sit down and have a proper read through of all the information. I know from what my daughter has said she doesn't like pvp games because she finds them stressful. She prefers cooperative mission type games. I know she is on discord but says that she doesn't connect with anyone because she has no friends to connect with. It's either that she doesn't know about joining groups (seems unlikely) or she is nervous of joining random groups. I know that she has thing (which I also have to some extent) where she feels she has to be "invited" to join something. I think she is very sensitive to rejection and doesn't like to "impose". She plays most of her pc games on Steam. Are there Steam game groups on Discord? I have to approach this carefully and respectfully with her as she is an adult and I don't want to seem patronising or interfering to her. She has pda also so I don't want finding friends to be a pressure. Thanks again for your help.

Discord is a messaging platform. It's an application that you download and you make an account. You can add Friends to message privately or join a group (You find groups on the internet).  You can talk through Text or Microphone.  You just need to look for a good group to join. but I mostly use Discord to keep it touch or connect with people that I game with and not meet people on there. But there are lots of groups you can join.

MMORPG games can be good for socializing as you can make groups and undertake "mission" / "Quests" with others. There's downtime between where you joke around and chat

Guildwars 2 And Elder Scrolls Online are good ones as they arn't subscription based
Or Destiny if she's into First Person Shooters

You then find people on these games then you can connect on platforms like Steam and Discord so you can arrange times to play.
If you need more genera specific recommendations then just ask.

There are always chances of meeting people who arn't nice gaming. I'd say avoid competitive games againts other players and focus on co-operative experiences with players working together to compete against the game. Or "player versus environment" (PvE)