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Hello

Madaboutmosaic
over 3 years ago

Hello everyone


What a lovely forum this is – so supportive and willing to share and offer advice.


I’m 67, undiagnosed but with really high scores on several online tests. My life experience from childhood to present times has always told me that I just don’t fit and I have to say that I labelled myself as some sort of weirdo eccentric. The questions in the tests I’ve done actually answered some of my questions in that the form of the questions seemed tailor made to fit my experiences and responses. I have literally never thought in this way before. An example – I don’t like spontaneous. I like to know what/where/how, draw up a list (or several) and make preparations. I’ve always said “I’m a Virgo – we like to be organised”. It has never occurred to me that this might be a facet of my wiring. I find some comfort in that.


I’ve found the lockdowns a huge relief from having to be social and have often said that I love life as a hermit – people think I’m joking but I’m really not. I live alone and I’m retired so I can live in my own little world with my routine undisturbed by outside pressures. I feel like this is the life I always wanted to live. I think what prompted me to take the tests was the prospect of the restrictions ending and feeling quite uneasy that life would change and I wouldn’t like it. Having finally found a way of living that suits me, I don’t feel I want to be submerged by something that I don’t find helpful to my wellbeing. Which made me ask myself why do I feel this way when so many others are champing at the bit to get back to “normality”? A bit of googling led me to this site.


I’m going to see my GP to talk about an assessment at some point but, in the meantime, I’d like to do some fruitful research so I’m fully prepared. I take information in best through the printed word and I wonder if anyone can recommend any books that might be useful to someone like me.

  • over 3 years ago in reply to JJ

    Hey JJ

    Thanks for replying and the info re books - I've already ordered it. Much appreciated.

    I know what you mean about ruminating. I've always called myself a worrier because of my tendency to pick apart conversations immediately/days/weeks and even years later. It is exhausting when you're in social settings and is one of the reasons lockdown has been such a relief for me - less interactions to dissect! 

  • over 3 years ago in reply to Nero-Boss

    Hey Gary

    Thanks for replying. This is all very new for me but I think in a helpful way.  The possibility that I may be autistic actually validates a lot of what I've always thought of as just me being weird!  It was never a choice but who I am.  

    Your artwork on another thread is amazing! 

    Best wishes 

    Maddie

  • over 3 years ago

    Hello!

    I have read a fair few books on the subjects of autism this one really stood out: 
    Autism in Adults by Dr Luke Beardon

    To reflect what you said about lockdown, I accidentally responded with extreme truth to a complete stranger about it (and am still ruminating on the gravitas of my off-the-cuff response):

    Her: "Do you work? ... I mean... so what has lockdown meant for you?"
    Me: "It has validated a lifestyle I chose to adopt a year before the crisis."

    (I'm pretty sure she just wanted smalltalk LOL!!!)

  • over 3 years ago

    Hi Madaboutmosaic,

    Welcome to the forum - I'm a newbie too.

    I know what you mean about lockdown feeling like a blessing rather than a curse. Heck I was already practicing social distancing before it became a real thing.

    I hope your talk with your GP goes well and I hope you find some really useful resources.

    Best,

    Gary

  • over 3 years ago in reply to Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

    Hey, thanks for your reply.  I retired 3 years ago and I love it.  I feel for you having to go back to work after the peace of lockdown.  I think keeping things as enjoyable as you can is a good plan - there's always some joy to be found in every day.

    I've just googled Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - amazingly apt word!!  

  • over 3 years ago

    Yes, I also enjoy being a hermit without social pressures, and the lockdowns were really enjoyable to me, but I had to go back to work, and I know how pointless the job can be, but I try to keep it as enjoyable as possible. I'm not sure what books to recommend to you though, but I hope you enjoy your retirement.