Published on 12, July, 2020
I am trying to figure out if working through the diagnosis process is worth while. I am in my mid 40’s diagnosed as dyslexic when I was a child along with a bunch late development esp reading and writing and limited social capability. Recently my employer told me that I need to change how I interact with people as I was to direct and blunt. I took this badly. On the positive side I am a very good data analyst and can do tasks few other seam unable to grasp. I have taken and re taken the online questions, tired or awake or stressed or relaxed and each time it comes out with a score that tells me I should see a specialist, so should I speak to my doctor or just carry on ?
help or advice would be really good.
thanks
Hi PWC
On the autism diagnosis. Personally I found getting the diagnosis a big help - as well as helping to get my life into some kind of perspective, it's helpful for the legal protection and being able to manage my employer with something I can take to HR should things get silly. Although my managers are a bit rubbish at keeping adjustments in place (it's all about how people interact with me and how I need information presented - and in the busyness of work this is easily missed) they are sympathetic if I say I'm overloaded so they will create some space.
It can open up additional support - I've got access to the psychologist who assessed me but I went private so have to pay for those sessions. Still, knowing that's in place and that I have access if I need it is reassuring for me.
On your current issue at work. You haven't mentioned how you were told to change your interaction (supportive environment, off-the-cuff remark, in a formal meeting?) - some asks don't always land well even if made with good intentions but I think if you have prior diagnosis (especially in social capability) it's a lot of pressure from your employer just to expect you to "get it right".
You could talk things through with your employer in a supportive environment (are they signed up to the disability confident https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/disability-confident-campaign ) explaining your difficulties in social interaction. There's the option to contact Scope for advice https://www.scope.org.uk/helpline/ if you felt you wanted to talk over it with someone first.
It may be a case that your communication style just is. I've had feedback that I'm too literal, I don't adjust my communication style between peers and managers and empathy is a thing I really struggle with. So it may be a case that others just need to be understanding of that. In reference to your prior diagnosis - disclosure to your employer could help here.
For me personally, if there are social rules there which I'm missing, because I can't just pick things up and because those rules haven't been explained, I don't know what they are, so I communicate the best I can.
Choosing to go for an autism diagnosis is a personal thing. All I can say is, I went for mine after years of struggle not understanding why I was struggling, finding the things I was being advised to do not working and getting very, very, depressed about it. What that diagnosis has helped me to do is approach my life in a very different way and although there's times I've struggled with it (at times I wish I didn't even have it) I don't regret getting it. Having that information has helped me a lot over the last 10 months.
Hope this helps
E