No idea where to start

academia has been a better employer to me so far. Even if getting in is very hard

If u think you ought to as u might see some traits that help u in the world of work. Otherwise have u thought of change of employer(not type of work).

• Sounds overall u have a good boss. Glad u set metaphorically,as otherwise may be seen as being 'too familiar'. Lol

i concurr

Civil service is known for it

EXACTLY THIS!! Ohh it's nice to read this. Employers have always taken advantage of my work ethic, speed and competence (and empathy) and then the smallest foot wrong, you're out - its appalling. Wish I worked with people like you! Sadly few and far between!

I'm not a solicitor, but I have been through employment tribunal and studied law. In a nutshell: If you feel your employer treats you differently because of your diagnosis or you see a future that may involve a disciplinary, sacking or tribunal - get a diagnosis.

I'd have lost more than one previous job if I hadn't had a long history of mental ill health...... thus, I used the Equality Act to make work bearable and it protected me. Your diagnosis is the only proof you have. I recommend doing it.

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example. we had a program at work i expressed an interest in. he said it probably wasn't suitable for me but we'd discuss it at out next meeting. before then there was a q&a session to find out more about this program. I went and it turns out it wasn't a good fit for me. but he found out from his line manager that I'd been their and chewed me out for wasting time going. I believed we had agreed it wasn't a closed issue and we were keeping it under review so it made sense for me to go but as far as he was concerned it was a closed issue and I had no business being there.

are u anything to do with "PWC", the company, Price Waterhouse Coopers  who employ IT and data people ?

I feel compelled to say that if you don't know where to start, start at the very beginning. I don't know where I've heard this, but knowing me, it's probably from a movie or a song. It's actually not bad advice. Start at the beginning and proceed in logical steps.

A lot is down to personality.  My boss is lovely.  On the plus side he is a real people person, heart of gold and very diplomatic.  On the down side, I find his work approach woolly and very vague at times.  I end so many conversations with him not at all sure what he's asking for.

But, I think we've learned that opposites can produce the goods though and have a real respect for each other.  He knows to paint me a big picture.  I'll then seek clarification as to what he wants (I sort of metaphorically sit on him until I get the precision I'm looking for, lol) and then trot off to dig around in the weeds of the stats to find his answers or design new processes to make things work. And no, I'm polite but I don't pull my punches when a thing is flawed.

It's just become a standing joke now that we tackle things from different angles.  He's says if I ever leave, he's leaving with me.

I think the point is here that this is a question of attitude.  There's a lot to be said for frankness.  A good manager should know that you don't want your team to be all the same as you, but complement the skills you don't have.  An assessment should give you protection, but so would some naturally good leadership.

maybe i just had a bad line manager then. They tend to emphasise tack and diplomacy over directness. My bluntness was constantly aggravating my line manager and his vagueness constantly confusing me.

hi PWC

here is the overall plan of waht to do plus my additonal notes in case you want to go for a diagnosis which i recommend as u appear to be having the same problems at work as me

i am dyslexic and autistic

Make a list of reasons why u think u are autistic.

include blood relatives in your family who are autistic or adhd or called weird/different

and a list of occasions when u have been called weird, autistic, different

the list should be electronic ie so you can email it to anyone who wants it.

so true  

I find after 20 years working with people--it's def led to 0 tolerance/patience when people don't follow directions are blatantly lazy at their job or play politic games. There's nothing in me that will change that. I can't stand laziness/complacency/nepotism. I dealt with that alot at my last job. I couldn't understand why there were higher expectations on me & I was persistent/consistent at tasks that required attention to detail/attention span. I even tried to help train--until it became clear that people were lazy/didn't take pride in their work. I think that's def one of the factors why autistic people go self-employed eventually & are happier in this state. I know for me, it's hard to find empathy/compassion when people flat out refuse to do their work & there is 0 backup from management. People add their "people element" that has nothing to do with the work. The work, you may enjoy--but for some reason, you're also expected to make friends/socialize. I'm like....."I'm here to kick butt--not make friends."

I'm taking "Understanding Autism" 8wk course in the Open University & its says in a world of deceit & dishonesty--that many employers...let's see if I can get the exact quote.......

__________________________________________________

"Another example is the need for structure, routine and repetition. Difficulty adapting to change may go with the capacity to persist in tasks for which others would not have sufficient patience or attention span. Again, this is proving invaluable in some industrial jobs."

"The same social naivety which, as we saw earlier, may lead a person into awkward social situations, means that autistic people tend to speak their mind with great honesty. In a world where some people resort to dishonesty and deception to get what they want, such honesty can and should be highly valued. An employer, for instance, may place particular trust in autistic staff members."

CitedSource: Week 2: what is autism like?: 5.1 Skills - OpenLearn - Open University - AUT_1.  OpenLearn. www.open.edu/.../v iew.php?id=66948§ion=5.1

Yes, public service tends to be quite supportive once identified in their employees.

Data analysts Go! I do that too for a living and love it, inspite of the fact that I too am dyslexic.

In the end, no one will know but you whether you should go for a formal diagnosis, but it might get your boss off your back. There are a raft of accomodations that they should then put in place for you. It might help make the point that whilst you make an effort to get how others interact, you can't be what you are not, and it might help you if your colleagues also try to understand that "blunt" is in fact honest and intended to be helpful not rude.

Take your tests to your GP. S/he'll give you an AQ10 to fill out and refer as appropriate. Alternatively, there's the private route. Can your OH Dept. help with that?

Hi PWC

On the autism diagnosis. Personally I found getting the diagnosis a big help - as well as helping to get my life into some kind of perspective, it's helpful for the legal protection and being able to manage my employer with something I can take to HR should things get silly. Although my managers are a bit rubbish at keeping adjustments in place (it's all about how people interact with me and how I need information presented - and in the busyness of work this is easily missed) they are sympathetic if I say I'm overloaded so they will create some space.

It can open up additional support - I've got access to the psychologist who assessed me but I went private so have to pay for those sessions. Still, knowing that's in place and that I have access if I need it is reassuring for me.

On your current issue at work. You haven't mentioned how you were told to change your interaction (supportive environment, off-the-cuff remark, in a formal meeting?) - some asks don't always land well even if made with good intentions but I think if you have prior diagnosis (especially in social capability) it's a lot of pressure from your employer just to expect you to "get it right".

You could talk things through with your employer in a supportive environment  (are they signed up to the disability confident https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/disability-confident-campaign ) explaining your difficulties in social interaction. There's the option to contact Scope for advice https://www.scope.org.uk/helpline/ if you felt you wanted to talk over it with someone first.

It may be a case that your communication style just is. I've had feedback that I'm too literal, I don't adjust my communication style between peers and managers and empathy is a thing I really struggle with. So it may be a case that others just need to be understanding of that. In reference to your prior diagnosis - disclosure to your employer could help here. 

For me personally, if there are social rules there which I'm missing, because I can't just pick things up and because those rules haven't been explained, I don't know what they are, so I communicate the best I can. 

Choosing to go for an autism diagnosis is a personal thing. All I can say is, I went for mine after years of struggle not understanding why I was struggling, finding the things I was being advised to do not working and getting very, very, depressed about it. What that diagnosis has helped me to do is approach my life in a very different way and although there's times I've struggled with it (at times I wish I didn't even have it) I don't regret getting it. Having that information has helped me a lot over the last 10 months. 

Hope this helps

E

Do you work for the civil service? If so I strongly advise yes seek diagnosis.