Published on 12, July, 2020
I was diagnosed with ASC, or ASD, this February at the age of 59. I also have a few other comorbidities thrown in for good measure. So now I have a new identity, as an Autist, which is an interesting phenomenon at my age. However, I am still the same person I always was, and, ironically, I was always autistic. The diagnosis was liberating, it gave me insight into why I have always had certain difficulties and limitations; and also allowed me to forgive myself for some failings. I am not a rather ill-adjusted and awkward neurotypical, but an autistic person who has worked rather effectively at adjusting to a world that is quite hostile to me.
I only wish that I had been aware of adult autism traits much earlier. I was only aware of the 'Rain Man'/'Sheldon Cooper' stereotypes before, completely by chance, I happened to stumble across a description of autistic traits and identified very many with my own characteristics.
As a potted biography, I am married with two children; I worked in bio-medical research in two universities for 24 years, and was then a manager of scientific facilities in a university research institute for another 10 years, before taking early retirement last year.
Welcome, Martin. Beautiful introduction. I can relate a lot to what you write about yourself.
It seems like some kind of re-birth, a new life. The new life, for me, involves letting go of my judgement and grudges against myself, and approaching my days with more awareness, acceptance and therefore empowering myself to help myself better. All these things are a work in progress, and may be for the rest of my days. But I'm elated to discover these insights about myself. The realisation process included grief, confusion and anxiety and still does sometimes, but the benefits of knowing outweigh those struggles. I've even been healing hurt from past events where others didn't understand me - neither of us understood me, and I can forgive them and myself so much more easily now.
I feel I can do so much more with my life through knowing myself better. I hope this is the same for you. It sounds like you've had some incredible experiences in life already!
Thank you for your kind welcome. During my research into autistic traits I was probably the most delighted in finding that I wasn't the only person in the world who removed all labels from every item of clothing!