Do I or don't I?

Hi,  

I'm new here, so thought I'd say hello and maybe get a bit of advice. I'm a 60 years old woman and for the past 3 or 4 years I have been convinced I'm on the spectrum. My granddaughter was diagnosed a couple of years ago, after many, many years of fighting to get her help. During those years I spent most of my time researching and, as you do, I ended up going down lots of rabbit holes. I finally ended up reading about women with autism and how their traits can differ from men. I've since read,  and e watched, a lot more and all I ever seem to think is, "That's me. That's me. That's me!". I was considered a shy child and I grew up accepting that I was just shy. I didn't make friends easily, couldn't keep them when I did manage it, couldn't understand what they wanted from me,  much preferred my own company, didn't play with dolls or do 'dressing up', or anything like that (couldn't see the point), spent most of my time in my bedroom reading or doing maths. I was very detail driven. Everything had to be perfect (can remember rewriting a maths homework around 6 or 7 times because I kept making silly, small writing mistakes and I couldn't cope with leaving it because it spoilt the perfect tidy look!). I hated background noise and bright lights. Couldn't do small talk. Was always being called weird or odd or stuck up. All these traits, and more, followed me into adulthood. I never thought anything about it until I started researching my granddaughter's autism when I was suddenly struck over the head with the realisation that I had been reading about myself. I've taken the AQ tests and scored high on both of them. I'm the main one in the family who can handle my granddaughter, and keep her calm, because I think, I understand how she's feeling for the most part. She often tells me she thinks we're twins because we do the same things. Things that other people don't do. Bless her. I've talked to my partner about it, she isn't convinced though does concede that I have a lot of the traits (for instance, she hates that I'm always rocking!). So I'm undecided. I don't know whether to approach my GP with a view to being referred for an assessment or not. I don't work due to a chronic health condition, so I don't *need* an assessment, as such. I just don't know. Would it be worth it? I guess it might help my self acceptance. Maybe. As you can see, I'm torn. Any help, advice, anecdotal stories welcome....