Bored... Depressed, sad and lonely... lol

Hi Tux,

The forum will be here when you feel like talking or feel you need help... I hope you then find the right company 

Meanwhile, your depression is a priority as others have pointed out. If you are autistic though, that may need to be taken into account, to get the most appropriate kinds of therapy for you.

My condolensceces for your losses. You've been hit harder than most. I can't begin to imagine, but I am so sorry to hear that.

To say I don't like doctors either is an understatement. I've taken to writing to mine instead of booking an appointment. Would it help you to put it in writing?

You don't have to answer any more of the threads if you're not up to it. But welcome. And the forum will be here when you need it.

Thank you very much guys for being very welcoming.

I have skipped through the comments... And I really appreciate your kind words... From what I picked up and so far.

I'm not really in a funny mood right now.... I think of locked myself in a box along with my feelings and thoughts. I've also come off my Prozac medication.

Basically I've just moved into my new house since February.  I have moved into this M18 postcode area. And my new doctor seems like a robot.

And instead of talking to my new doctor about my feelings and increasing my medications... I just decided that the best way to avoid talking to this new doctor whom I am not comfortable with whatsoever is to stop taking my medications.

Thankfully I'm not as emotional as I used to be... but my anxiety levels has slightly increased... And that is stopping me from going outside to do food shopping etc.

Anyway...

I'm not really in a talkative mood right now.

But I do want to say one thing. Which is keep up the amazing work you guys have ongoing here.

Actually I will say one thing....in a space of one year...

I have been divorced... I have lost a 5 family members, all thanks to covid-19.  I have no friends. I don't talk to anyone. Even on these so-called dating apps... Women just ignore me by me just being me and honest. 

So much to say... But I'm scared to open up the box.  Because I've had enough crying.  And feeling like a piece of dirt.

So...

I've just shut everything out.

Once I have... As an example... formatted my hard drive... And reinstalled the operating system... Hopefully then I can slowly slowly open the box lid and start saying hi to people.

I will read and respond to the entire post when I'm feeling better and stronger.

I love you all. Be happy. And be strong.

Speak to you soon. Take care.

Peace

️

Just next to Windsor Castle.

Hi Tux

Welcome to the forum.

Here are my thoughts on what you have written.

You say you don't like people, don't trust people and hate being with people, but that you want to meet people and make friends with people. This sounds like you're in self-sabotage mode. It's no wonder you can't meet people or make friends if you're also not liking them, not trusting them and hating being around them. People will quickly pick up on what we're feeling about them, even if we're pretending.  

I don't like some people.  I don't trust some people and I hate being with some people. That's quite normal. There are many, many, many horrid untrustworthy people out in the world that are simply awful to be around. But not all people. We are people after all.

There is a lot of useful information about mental ill-health on this website:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health

And, on Autism:

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism

It's understandable to be feeling emotional after a recent divorce, and I hope you are able to access some therapy for your depression. 

It's nice that you want to help people. Have you considered volunteering? It can make a real difference to your own life and the lives of those around you. You might want to consider contacting your local Volunteer Centre.

The National Autistic Society also operate an Autism helpline: 0808 800 4104

Have you considered going for anAutism Assessment? While taking online tests can be fun and informative, they are no substitute for a proper assessment.

The good news is that you are already feeling like a human being. Feelings of depression, unhappiness and helplessness are just as human as feelings of joy, happiness and usefulness. They may not be as pleasant as positive ones, but they are still very human. 

You've taken a brave step in joining the forum and reaching out.

Good luck!

I suffer from Depression, Bipolar/Schizoaffective and Asperger's.

I'm so co-morbid, it's not even funny. So many features and traits overlap.

I've been pushed from Pillar to Post. By pushy Teachers at School, University friends who took advantage of me and misinformed me about module choices and the European Social Fund regulations forcing me to give up a few Autism-based Support Groups.

However, I am above ground. That's the most important thing.

I wasn't sure which county Legoland UK was located.

DuckDuckGo to the rescue. It's in Berkshire. I would have guessed Surrey.

Hi

What was your score in the AQ test ? 

update-----  its ok its a 30 question test you did.  You may be autistic but your depression has a higher priority and needs seen to first.

Go for it!      

If you're into Lego, look at Brickish  https://brickish.org/  they organise get-togethers, competitions, Legoland visits - all ages welcome.      There may be a local group to you.

You're absolutely right about just turning up - we have quite a few members turning up to our Meetups that are more into sitting and listening-  obviously very shy - but we do our best to engage with them.

I absolutely LOVE this wavelength concept - I've seen you express it a few times and... I'm going to properly steal it! ;)

Also a Lego group would be amazing. 

I've heard it said in the past, 80% of (whatever you're trying to do - find friends, learn something new) is just showing up.  A commitment to a kind of group one feels akin toward is always one of the best ways of connexion. of course I do wish I'd had the tools when I was younger to communicate a little better!

hi tux, sorry to hear that :( i under stand you feel lonely.  i too have no friends i did have 2 friends but they  hurt me. what are your interests, what do you like. welcome to the community :) 

Hi Tux,

I am in my late 40s and am quite new to the forum. I have found it very helpful being on here for support and just somewhere to chat where I don't have to put my mask on. I like music and travelling. I work part time and am planning on going on a course in September as I am not happy with how my life is at the moment. I also have had trouble with depression - I have bipolar. I have just started a CBT online course and am on meds too.

Welcome and I look forward to seeing you on the forum.

Take care of yourself.

Mrs Snooks

Hiya Tux - welcome to the forum.

I was diagnosed in my 40s - so what your going through is not uncommon. 

What you're finding is you're dealing with the wrong people.      I'm pretty sure that if you found people on your wavelength you'd have loads of friends.    If you're in the very high functioning / Asperger's end of the spectrum, you might want to examine your childhood and look at all the hobbies and interests you had back then - they excited you.    

All you need to do now is look for the grown-up version - and odds are, all the people doing it are going to be very similar to you.   I'm in model groups, Lego associations, classic car clubs - stuffed full of nice, welcoming people.