Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I am new to this forum...awaiting an assessment and have been told I am very likely aspergers by a mental health professional...I am a middle aged woman who feels like a teenager a lot of the time, especially when relating to people. The main issue I have atm are the problems I have in friendships and with people in general. I can't even describe what it is that I finding difficult...but I am so sick of it. For many years I was with a partner and was close to my parents and sister and when my relationship ended and my parents and sister died (it all happened in a very short space of time) I found myself having to deal with a lot more people due to needing more friendships....
Maybe the problems are...I find myself feeling a bit bullied by people, or put down, that there are misunderstandings and I find it all so exhausting...I get very alarmed by anyone being jealous of me and was oblivious to this in other women until recent years when I finally woke up to it....most recently I realised that a someone I considered to be a very close old friend of mine (25 years) has been being manipulative and mildly abusive on and off for years and I feel like my brain does not compute. I think lock down highlighted a lot of problems that had previously ignored...I just want to get on with everyone and hate conflict and tension...but don;t seem to be able to create that for myself..life was so much simpler when I had a partner in many ways because although we argued more than I would have liked, it was much easier having only one person to relate to most of the time.
Can anyone offer any advice or have similar experiences of this?
G
I'm in a misanthropic mood, now.
My online friend from Toronto might be cold-shouldering me as the brushes in the make up kit I gave her for Christmas may have real animal hair. I bought a Ciara Daly bag at my local chemist.
Then, after Mass, I visited my artist friend; just to show him how to use Gmail. That's what little he knows about his computer.
My MacBook might have a damaged board, due to the charger I got on eBay for it. I'm taking it to a place in Magherafelt which fixes phones and computers.
It's a sign from above.
I don;t really want to share what it was...but I thought it was needless. The feelings it brings up are frustration with a bit of shame thrown in ...at the time it was really distressing though
its pretty awful to put your thrust in someone, then you find out they have been lying to you. What did he lie about ?
I think it is a very good idea you going for a diagnosis.
How are you feeling right now as you speak to me ?
Thank you, i am female, early 50s, musician, single, no children...I went to see a therapist a year and a half ago due to struggling with being lied to by a man I was seeing...and also some problems in relations I had been unable to resolve....he said 'I am 98% certain you are ASD' and got me to do a test which I sent to my GP and he referred me.
i relate to everything you said, and was diagnosed only two years ago, at the age of 62. i was bullied as an early teen by my 'friends,' and now wonder if my remaining 'friends' and family react similarly to me. so i've occasionally lashed out, or otherwise lost 'friendships' of twenty, thirty plus years. as you've found, it's been extremely difficult.
during the lockdown, i've lost a number of relationships. most importantly, the possible loss of my only sibling and her family. and although you feel like you're remained a teen, i've remained about 8 or 9.
my recent therapists have all specialized in asd. i'd recommend seeing people like that. it seems to be treated very differently from NT things....
Welcome to this forumn
so sorry you have just been through a rough patch
I recommend you open up a bit is this forum just be yourself
Tell me about yourself.
Hiya
Welcome aboard!
I can mirror everything you're saying - I'm a mid 50s married bloke and inside, I've never got past 16. I'm playing a responsible adult in an over-complicated world and I've been used, abused and bullied my whole life.
I've known my wife since 11, married in early 20s and she's stayed as young as me inside - I'm infectious
All of my long-term friends are either diagnosed or undiagnosed aspies - they are good, honest, reliable people and we're all the same - lots of strange jobs and hobbies.