Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome when I was 13 and was receiving some help but since turning 18 I feel as if I've been abandoned and as if no one really cares. I lost my dad last year and that affected me badly mentally. I didn't cry and felt little emotion but mentally I feel crushed and devastated. Now living with my mum but I'm struggling to manage the anxiety and depression. Doctors don't want to help. And I'm in considerable pain which my mum says is anxiety though I'm pretty sure I am dying from some sort of disease. My health isn't in the best of shape, yegods it's a mess! I'm only 26 and to be fair 27 seems unlikely. I feel awful all the time and I'm not getting any help or support from anybody. I assume I'm not a lone with the problems?
Can anyone help me with any of this please?
I like reading and watching films mostly which is what I'm doing most of time.
Ok introduction over. Thanks for reading.
Hi - what you're feeling is very common for us - we *need* logic, calmness and predictability. Unfortunately, life comes with none of that so we need someone to bounce our anxiety off or we go nuts processing it all around in circles forever.
If I were you, I'd write out all of your anxiety issues and spend some time talking it all over with your mum - you need support and reassurance in this chaotic world that you're ok and doing the best you can.
Also, as other have suggested, talk to your gp and see if they can put some support in place for you - you *need* to be able to process your stress with someone - just talking about it all with someone so you feel you've been heard can help a lot.
Internalising your anxiety is bad for you - it will make you feel ill - just touching base with your mum to explain what's currently stressing you will help dissipate that stress and you might come up with some plans for the future..
Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt.
Talk to your GP.
so sorry for the loss of your Dad.
ask your GP if you can get meditation training / mindfulness training perscribed on the NHS because when used correcly it can reduce anxiety and depression without the use of drugs. I would expect the death of your dad to be very upsetting for quite a while.
What would your dad say to you, seeing you in this state, if he was here right now ?
[this next bit is optional, and you do need a good imagination]
go to a quiet place, lie down and close your eyes and pretend / visualise walking across a field and into a large house. You go into a big room with a table and 2 chairs. Visualise yourself walking over to one chair and sitting down then call your father. Watch him ( a spirit / light /as you remember him) appear and come over to you and sit down. Have a cup of tea wth him. Then ask him what you should do ? try this. If this works great. Tell your mum what was said. If it doesnt work repeat a couple more times. It doesnt always work first time.
I hope this works for you and you get some resolution soon
I am not a professional but found this technique quite powerful and helpful in dealing with my fathers death.
I, like you, will never forget my dad
it does get better, honest
best wishes
Hi thanks rkj. I'm going to talk to the doctor when I can. Sadly support groups no good for me, I find them too stressful. I'm always hanging on to hope Thing's can only get better, so let's hope they do!
Hi cookies. Thanks for the message. I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling as well. Sounds like you have had it really rough at times and I'm really sorry to hear about that. Are you receiving help now? And I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I feel as if I'm about to go into a break down.
A part of me wants the answers and to see a doctor but then another part feels like dying might be the best thing. Life is hard on the spectrum and I'm unlikely to ever be a mum or start my own family so sometimes I feel like me being here is pointless. But I try not to think that way too much. When quarantine lifts I'll try to get an appointment with the doctor but I'm not sure when that will be.
I like books about magic and monsters like vampires. And I'll watch anything if it's animated
You were lots of help, thanks for replying.
Hang in there Unirella. Try the Doctor or talking to support groups. I know it seems really tough for you right now, but this will pass and you’ll look back at it. Keep hope, I find it’s your strongest ally in difficult or dark times.
Hi Unirella, I completely get where you are coming from with this post, I had exactly the same problems. I was diagnosed when I was 12 and when I turned 18 support just stopped! When I turned 21 I got to such a bad stage again I had to seek help. It then took 9 months and several hospital visits ( I'm not going to go into what they were for atm) to be taken seriously.
I broke down about 2 years ago and have got worse since, I to also lost my dad last month.
Enough about me, just wanted to give you an idea of myself.
About the feeling like you are dying from some sort of disease, perhaps go to see your doctor and explain what you are feeling and ask for tests or checkup or something like that,I always find that physical evidence from a doctor helps my anxiety. I to have alot of health anxiety and my doctor has been very understanding when I explained it and put my mind at ease with Test results. I know it is easier said than done, perhaps maybe a telephone consultation first so you can explain to the doctor, I always find it useful to write a list of stuff I want to say otherwise I go mind blank. The doctor won't think your being silly that is what they are for and will be glad to help ease your worrys.
You are not alone, you can always post here and chat, life can be difficult sometimes, keep hope and keep your chin up
What sort of things do you like reading and watching?
Sorry if I wasn't much help,