I'm new and here to get to know more about myself and autism. I don't really understand it much. I mean I know I struggle a lot with certain things but I don't really get why that is, my doctor never explained it and now that I'm an adult I feel sort of my own in the world. Am fortunate to have a wonderfully supportive family though.
Another problem I'm facing is a mental one. I wonder if I've got a personality problem or something similar because always I feel like more than one person, every day I'm walking and living as 3-5 different people and juggling all that with my illness and life itself is becoming hard work. Is this something anyone else deals with? This problem is becoming a bigger problem and more awkward as it affects different parts of my life. Its cost me a job before and also ruined a relationship for me
But that's enough of the depressing stuff.
I live by the sea in a sweet little cottage and I also host my own book club which I hope to get back to when lock down restrictions have been lifted, if my health and sight remain good that is.
Hello Sally, welcome and thanks for the intro! A lot of what you say resonates with me, even the notion of different persona and things becoming worse during life.
It sounds very nice, where you live.
Oh I know right it's terrible isn't it! I suppose it could be worse but it can be hard to deal with so much all at once.
Oh it is lovely. From the window you can see the ocean and there's an old outbuilding behind the cottage. I spend a lot of time in there.
u're so positive ,,,,,, BTW i have/had 7 personas in my head which where generally really useful (6/7). I read somewhere that during a meditation ( which i have been doing for years no ) I should imagine taking a sword and killing one of the personas . I did this and this reduced the conflicts in my head somewhat. Every so often I repeat this process. I am keeping the benefical personas for now . But eventually they have to go
not wishing to get too heavy and all that...on a nice friday... it's actually other people who really have an issue with my persona and give me grief about them. I only have 3-4. And since they are all me, well, I can't figure out what to do. This is an interesting topic to bring up and not mentioned much, as far as I know.
I only suffer when I get a feeling I am floating above real life and not really in it.
Dear both of you....I tried to avoid triggering myself ..."oh but now I am a teeny bit hooked". Do either of you see anyone professional about this? Or how to reduce them? I became a different one at work today but now I hate myself and i get fleeting, not serious but escapist sui*idal feelings when I have to switch back.
Aidie, 7 personas is a lot! I don't how you cope with that, it must be hard for you at times. I think the most I've had is 4 or 5, though I've never thought of harming them yet. I like most of them but at times they can be a bit distressing because they start to intrude and suddenly their problems are concerning me as well and it's just oh god no. I could do with a few that could do with leaving but they never seem to.
Contrapuntal, I'm sorry some people give you grief about your personas. I haven't told anybody I know about my personas, I don't think they would be supportive, they would probably try and get me locked up.
I was seeing a therapist, her name was Becky and she was a lovely woman. I never got round to telling her about my personas but after the covid I'm hoping to see her again.
Thanks! Just to clarify, other people close to me have detected my personas, I have not mentioned them. I appreciate your replies. Sorry I made your intro a bit heavy x not all threads will go this way
Oh sorry, didn't mean to imply anything, I was just saying generally that I never tell anyone such things I'm sorry yours was detected, that must have been so awkward and upsetting for you.
Oh hey, no worries, I'm glad. It's nice to talk about someone else
Hi Contrapuntal and SallyJane
I have told no one either. My personas are, I believe, mostly benefical to me. I thought everyone had them. Then the bad one appeared called "Keira" ( nasty, vengeful, and suicidal ).
So I decided to get a diagnosis which was a surprise . . . . autism !
My meditation routinue ( after 1 year ) then started to reduce my autism related anxiety/mild depression. Meditation ( Guided, Mantra, Zen/breathing, Non-dualist ) has helped me greatly understand my mind I am now reducing the personas, see though my very powerful ego ( internal dialogue) and other delusions. I couldnt really open to the counsellor I once went to. I also found it helpful talking with depressed, anxious, and suicidal individuals by IM ( mostly 7Cups.com).
You are both beautiful people.
I'm sorry to hear about Keira, she doesn't sound like a good persona to have around. I'm fortunate that mine don't really get nasty, they can get low but never too bad.
Your meditation sounds like a great thing! I'm going to look in to meditation now as well. It's something I always thought of doing but haven't done yet, but now I think it's time to give it a go. Your routine sounds like a great one and also seems like it helps you a lot now as well. I have been on 7 Cups in the past as well. It can be helpful talking to people who are in the same or similar situation to you.
Great job on the meditation, I hope it continues to help.
You are a beautiful person, keep smiling!
thanks for the compliment you are very kind.
the key to meditation is
1. whatever type u choose,,, do it everyday, without fail eg 10mins ,,, a small amount each day is better then 70mins once a week,,,,, start at 1 min then 5, 10,
2. remember - even when u feel it has gone badly u are actually still progressing
3. everything you need is online and free. just ask me if need me.
see u later