Benefits of diagnosis

To be fair, actors are becoming more and more alike Jessica Chastain and Bryce Dallas Howard or Michael Sheen and Andy Serkis.

ha yes I have that problem too - I am never quite sure whether the same person is in two scenes or whether they have introduced a new character! It can be embarassing, mainly because people get offended if you don't recognise them. I think they think it's because they left no impression on you, when in fact it's just because they look like everybody else to you!

Or not being able to follow the plot in a film because all the characters look the same. :-(

Thanks so much for that

 Appreciate the reply. I have bupa cover through work and will investigate

Think I've got that. Would certainly explain why I often say to people in meetings "hi. I don't think we've met before".... I don't do that anymore as I've realised that it's just me that needs to get to know someone before I remember their face. It's embarrassing as it comes off as very rude

Disagree, it's helped me pick up on a couple of things I never knew about myself such as face blindness.

Absolutely none

You're welcome :-) I really felt reading your post that it was pretty much what I would have written myself pre-diagnosis! It's interesting to hear about your family members, as there does seem to be a lot of evidence for autism running in families. My grandad certainly had Aspergers (though it really wasn't recognised in his day and he was never formally diagnosed) and I would say that both my parents have a significant number of traits.

I used NAS's directory of services to find a local diagnostic service. They seem to have listings for most parts of the country, and there is also the option of their own Lorna Wing centre if you are in the South East. If your professional role comes with private medical cover, you may be able to claim the costs of a private diagnosis on that - I know that one of the regular contributors on here was able to do that, so it might be worth investigating.

Prior to the assessment, I wrote out a (long!) document detailing why I thought I had ASD, which you might find useful to do as well. It helps you get your thoughts together, especially if you think you might get flustered at the assessment and forget some things you wanted to mention. I also sent it to the person doing the assessment so that they had the information to hand, which was useful for both of us I think. If you were to go down the NHS route, this can also be handy to provide to your GP as evidence of why you think you should be assessed. Mine ended up filling about 6 pages of A4 and as I wrote it it was amazing how many moments in the past suddenly made more sense.

Thanks so much for your reply and the links. Really hits home. I had huge problems in childhood and school but, as you say, it wasn't a thing then. They knew I was odd but they didn't know why. What is really interesting for me about the links is that my daughter is 2 and a half and she's so much like me. She is also like the description of pre school aspergers girls. My hope for her is that she goes through her childhood proud of who she is, without having to deal with people criticising her for being her. I think my son has it too but his lack of social skills doesn't seem to bother him at all. Boys and girls are very different. 

My brother has told me he thinks he has it and he has a son who is severely autistic (non verbal).

Can I ask where you got the private diagnosis?

Thanks again

Hope you enjoy the book Oh wow... that's so expensive. Most areas have an NHS mental health team - you can usually self-refer online. 

I hope you and your son are able to get the support you need.

Hi there

Very similar to my story, apart from the kids. I have managed to hold down a professional job for most of my life but with a lot of challenges. I made it to my 40s before things got so bad that I reached the "either I need to find an explanation for this, or accept that I am going crazy" stage. A great deal of research followed, and when I started reading about autism, and especially autism in women. it was a bit of a shock - everything I read, I thought oh, that's me. 

I went for a private assessment as my problems had got so bad that I was hurtling towards some kind of breakdown. The cost of the private assessment was less than the cost of potentially falling apart and not being able to work during the 2 year wait for an NHS diagnosis, so I didn't feel like I had much choice.

I was right in my self-diagnosis: Aspergers. Now, I will warn you, if you are the same, there is no support at all post-diagnosis. However, knowing what I was dealing with made a huge difference to me, as did being able to request some reasonable adjustments at work. Once you know why you have problems, it does give you a chance to mitigate them to some degree. For that alone, I feel like the diagnosis was worthwhile.

Anxiety seems to go hand in hand with autism. I was diagnosed with both by the person who diasnosed my autism (prior to that I had never been to the GP about the anxiety).

I'd recommend looking at Tania Marshall's list of signs of Aspergers in women: https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/06/22/first-signs-of-asperger-syndrome-in-young-girls-pre-school/ and https://taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

If you feel amazed looking back that no-one noticed it during your childhood, you may find the young girls list interesting as well as the adult one, just to see how many of the signs you actually exhibited.

When I was school age, Aspergers was not a diagnosis anyway, so I guess it's not surprising that it was not picked up. 

Good luck with whatever you choose to do and I hope that you manage to get some answers.

Got the book now and looking forward to reading it! It was therapy for depression and post traumatic stress after a series of bad events following pregnancies that didn't go well. The GP gave me a list of therapists but it was around £50 per hour so I just took the anti depressant instead! It is as time goes on I've realised I had underlying issues all along relating to autism which aren't going to go away. I am looking around for services - they seem geered to more severe autism, but I will keep looking. One of my children has cerebral palsy and he is now classed at the milder end of the spectrum and doesn't get all the support I think he needs. I guess they have to prioritise services.

Thank you - I hope you enjoy the book. Did your GP say you'd need to self-fund for the autism diagnosis or for therapy? I've found that GPs aren't always knowledgeable about autism (mine said there were no diagnostic services in the area, when there's actually one 15 minutes away), so it might be worth some further research. 

Thanks very much for replying. I really hope you get your appointment soon. 

I moved jobs into a role which does not require much 'socialising' or 'networking' which has made a big difference for me. I think I've been lucky to find a good fit.

Thanks so much for the reply. I've ordered the book and will look up the YouTube channel. I'm finding that just realising myself that I have autism is making a difference already to how I manage things, but it would be great to get some therapy focused on autism. I've never had any therapy - just anti depressants. GP said I'd have to self fund. I hope you continue to see benefits.

Hi, I’m 44, male, have 2 children (although one is 21, so technically not a child!) I have a partner of 14 year. I couldn’t face marriage. I have had mental health issues for around 20 years, but after a documentary I watched a few years ago, believe I have Aspergers. I am waiting for official diagnosis through my GP.

For me, the purpose of a diagnosis is to give some clarification on what has been going on, and provide me with some way forward. I had to end my previous career as there were just too many triggers in corporate life and it became one big anxiety fest. I think it sounds like your doing pretty well if your holding down a successful job. However, from my perspective, knowledge is power and all that!

Hi. I'm 25 and currently on the waiting list for a diagnostic assessment. My family have always suspected that I was autistic, but I've made my own decision to pursue diagnosis in adulthood. 

I also struggle with my mental health, so I decided that a diagnosis would help me get to know myself better, which should allow me to make adaptations to my life to decrease my stress levels. It may also open doors to support if I need it in future.

I'm recently out of therapy for anxiety and OCD, and it's made a huge difference to me already. That said, I still feel the autism diagnosis will be beneficial, because I'm hoping I'll be able to take better care of myself once I know my specific needs. I'm not always very self-aware, so it's hard for me to know what my specific triggers are for things like meltdowns, and I don't always notice when I'm burning myself out.

You might find Laura James' 'Odd Girl Out' an interesting read - it's autobiographical and explores her experience of adult diagnosis. I also found Purple Ella's YouTube videos helpful when deciding whether to pursue a diagnosis.

Even if you get a diagnosis, it's your choice whether you disclose it to others or not - so even if you just want to know for yourself, that's an option too.

I hope you get the answers you're looking for :)