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Hi I'm New Looking For Some Advice

NAS64531

Good Morning All

I am new to the page, my little boy is 2 1/2 year old and he has been attending a day nursery where they have noticed he was behind on development areas. After a while of doing different assesments, 1 to 1 activities etc they felt it was something they needed to refer to SENCO. unfortunately because I didn't go back to work after maternity leave with my little girl I couldn't afford to send him to full time nursery so we put him into a community pre school. When he started attending we got contact from an early inclusion officer and she came out to asses him whilst in the new setting. He has only attended 4 full sessions 1 day a week ( 2 settling in sessions for half days). They noticed that he likes to put things in his mouth and they said that he is a high risk in the setting, on Monday the lady preschool came to my house and said they cant have him in the setting anymore as they don't have enough people to watch him. I was also informed that the committee had been having meetings regarding my son the previous week which we wasn't notified about and I feel very upset about although his name was not mentioned I still feel it is something we should have been informed about. The inclusion officer is coming to my house on Tuesday and we are going to go through the next steps and see if we can get any funding. we haven't actually had a diagnosis but pre school just turned around to me and said we see he has got autistic traits.

Gosh sorry that was long but something im just looking for some advice on as me and my husband are feeling so alone :(

Parents

  • Hi there,

    I'm so sorry to hear about all the difficulties you've been going through, it sounds as though the pre-school have been really unprofessional and unhelpful. You are not alone, there are lots of parents going through similar things.

    I'm in the final year of an educational psychology degree and I have trained and worked as a nursery nurse for 6 years, so I have some experience of the early years system, child development and ASD (I'm a diagnosed adult). 

    I understand that your son is 2 1/2 years old. There's a lot of variation within this age group; some children are talking fluently, some have yet to put more than a couple of words together. I'm always amazed by how quickly children of this age develop, at around 3 years there is an explosion of neurological development. I haven't met your son, but I can tell you that lots of children of his age like to put things in their mouths, especially in novel situations where they feel a bit uncertain, as this gives them comfort and helps them to regulate. That's why the ratio of staff to children is 1:4 for this age. If the pre-school don't have enough staff they should not have let him attend the setting in the first place as this is illegal. 

    Before any discussions or meetings are made about possible SEN (Special educational needs), parents must be informed and consent must be obtained, preferably written consent. You should have been invited to a meeting with the nursery SENCO and initial plans must have been made to support your son in the setting to see if this would help before further assessments are requested, as his behaviour could have multiple explanations. The pre-school do not have the necessary qualifications or rights to tell you that your son is showing autistic traits. Only a qualified psychologist, psychiatrist or neurologist can diagnose autism. 

    It is up to you to decide whether you want to take this further and have your son assessed. It might be a relief to let go of some of the uncertainty, but diagnosing children this young is always a balance between the need for help and not wanting to create a label which will be with them for life. 

    I'm sorry to hear that the pre-school have treated you so badly - I'm sure there are lots of other settings out there who would be delighted to welcome your son and plan for his development in a child-centred way, which is what all early years settings should be doing by default. - again, it's a statutory requirement! Hopefully the inclusion officer can give you some more advice. 

  • in reply to thephilosophersbone

    Thanks for the reply, yes I feel they have been very unprofessional. They are a pre school connected to a church community. I feel I may have to right a letter to them just to state how I feel :( hopefully next Tuesday we I'll get more answers. 

  • in reply to NAS64531

    Let's hope so. You can always write to Ofsted if you're not satisfied with the way your situation has been handled. I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday. 

  • in reply to thephilosophersbone

    Thankyou i will sure to reply to you and let you know.

    have a good day :) 

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