Hi I'm New Looking For Some Advice

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear about all the difficulties you've been going through, it sounds as though the pre-school have been really unprofessional and unhelpful. You are not alone, there are lots of parents going through similar things.

I'm in the final year of an educational psychology degree and I have trained and worked as a nursery nurse for 6 years, so I have some experience of the early years system, child development and ASD (I'm a diagnosed adult). 

I understand that your son is 2 1/2 years old. There's a lot of variation within this age group; some children are talking fluently, some have yet to put more than a couple of words together. I'm always amazed by how quickly children of this age develop, at around 3 years there is an explosion of neurological development. I haven't met your son, but I can tell you that lots of children of his age like to put things in their mouths, especially in novel situations where they feel a bit uncertain, as this gives them comfort and helps them to regulate. That's why the ratio of staff to children is 1:4 for this age. If the pre-school don't have enough staff they should not have let him attend the setting in the first place as this is illegal. 

Before any discussions or meetings are made about possible SEN (Special educational needs), parents must be informed and consent must be obtained, preferably written consent. You should have been invited to a meeting with the nursery SENCO and initial plans must have been made to support your son in the setting to see if this would help before further assessments are requested, as his behaviour could have multiple explanations. The pre-school do not have the necessary qualifications or rights to tell you that your son is showing autistic traits. Only a qualified psychologist, psychiatrist or neurologist can diagnose autism. 

It is up to you to decide whether you want to take this further and have your son assessed. It might be a relief to let go of some of the uncertainty, but diagnosing children this young is always a balance between the need for help and not wanting to create a label which will be with them for life. 

I'm sorry to hear that the pre-school have treated you so badly - I'm sure there are lots of other settings out there who would be delighted to welcome your son and plan for his development in a child-centred way, which is what all early years settings should be doing by default. - again, it's a statutory requirement! Hopefully the inclusion officer can give you some more advice. 

Hi there,

I'm so sorry to hear about all the difficulties you've been going through, it sounds as though the pre-school have been really unprofessional and unhelpful. You are not alone, there are lots of parents going through similar things.

I'm in the final year of an educational psychology degree and I have trained and worked as a nursery nurse for 6 years, so I have some experience of the early years system, child development and ASD (I'm a diagnosed adult). 

I understand that your son is 2 1/2 years old. There's a lot of variation within this age group; some children are talking fluently, some have yet to put more than a couple of words together. I'm always amazed by how quickly children of this age develop, at around 3 years there is an explosion of neurological development. I haven't met your son, but I can tell you that lots of children of his age like to put things in their mouths, especially in novel situations where they feel a bit uncertain, as this gives them comfort and helps them to regulate. That's why the ratio of staff to children is 1:4 for this age. If the pre-school don't have enough staff they should not have let him attend the setting in the first place as this is illegal. 

Before any discussions or meetings are made about possible SEN (Special educational needs), parents must be informed and consent must be obtained, preferably written consent. You should have been invited to a meeting with the nursery SENCO and initial plans must have been made to support your son in the setting to see if this would help before further assessments are requested, as his behaviour could have multiple explanations. The pre-school do not have the necessary qualifications or rights to tell you that your son is showing autistic traits. Only a qualified psychologist, psychiatrist or neurologist can diagnose autism. 

It is up to you to decide whether you want to take this further and have your son assessed. It might be a relief to let go of some of the uncertainty, but diagnosing children this young is always a balance between the need for help and not wanting to create a label which will be with them for life. 

I'm sorry to hear that the pre-school have treated you so badly - I'm sure there are lots of other settings out there who would be delighted to welcome your son and plan for his development in a child-centred way, which is what all early years settings should be doing by default. - again, it's a statutory requirement! Hopefully the inclusion officer can give you some more advice. 

Thanks for the reply, yes I feel they have been very unprofessional. They are a pre school connected to a church community. I feel I may have to right a letter to them just to state how I feel :( hopefully next Tuesday we I'll get more answers.