Hello I'm new, help anyone please?

Hello everyone :) I have a 4 and a half year old son who just started reception 3 weeks ago, the teachers are amazing but they have had me in for a meeting about some of his behaviour.

Firstly he's a very social little boy, he will chat to any body, he's friendly, he will do anything i ask of him like get dressed or get this for me with no problems we go out for meals etc he sits very well, we go to the cinema to watch films, he's at a good normal learning level for a 4 year old, knowing letter and numbers, counting drawing, writing etc, is polite and has empthy and is very loving and wants to always join in and make friends, he doesnt have any repitive behaviours though he does know alot on certain subjects like dinosaurs or superheros but he's not obsessed with them, He has the odd normal 4 year old tantrums but nothing that's ever made me worry about anything. 

But they have said that in certain situations he misses 'social ques', he has bitten another child because they took a toy off him, he seems to become lost in the middle of a playgroud game, he often wonders into a diffrent area of the class room to play with toys (not always) he was scared of the hand dryers in the toilet, they say he does maintain eye contact but does often gaze past the person who is talking to him or looks away and is fussy about his food (always has been but he eats a good variety of foods). She said if she address the class for example 'everyone their coats' He looks confused and lost but if she directs it at him by using his name first he understands, there are lots of other little things but I am totally new to all of this and im trying to aleducafdle myself the best i can, im a little scared and nervous to say the least, they say that he needs a high level of care in school and needs to be assess, firstly how long will I have to wait for an assessment? I'm in Cheshire in the UK. Any advise or anything would be much appreciated! Please ask questions if you like I feel a little lost at the moment I have tried to write as much as I can but it's so hard to explain something!

Thank you so much for reading x

  • Hi, Soliviad. Welcome to the group. I know the assessment waiting list is quite long for adults, but it might be a lot quicker for children - I'll leave it for parents to respond to that question.

    There are some traits here that could be described as autistic - an assessment is the only way to know for sure. There are lots of resources out there that you can use to learn more about autism (this website is a great start). Try not to be scared for him - autism is just a difference, and diagnosing at a young age can help to ensure he gets the support he needs to flourish.

  • Could you perhaps ask the school to provide in writing the reasons they feel an assessment would be beneficial, as that will greatly assist your GP in providing you with the appropriate support?

    As a lay person in these arts of diagnosis I can spot 2-3 things that might benefit from professional aid so engaging with the professionals at the earliest opportunity will both provide you with the immediate answers you seek and also any longer term support your son needs.

    It does sound like he's a very happy and well adjusted little boy so celebrate that and enjoy these early years while you still can :)

  • Welcome to the forum.

    I won't repeat the good advice already given, but there's one thing that I will add. Don't reproach yourself for having missed any of the behaviours observed by the school. It takes two things for behaviours like these to appear - firstly, whatever the underlying cause is, and secondly, the environment. It's not unusual that behaviours pop out when we're exposed to new experiences and environments, because our brains have to work a whole lot harder when we're getting used to a new place, away from the people who we're most comfortable around, surrounded by much more activity than we're used to, and trying to learn new ways of behaving. Not having noticed anything unusual yourself is very likely just because there was nothing significant to notice.

    The things which the teachers have mentioned suggest that they are well trained to look after your son, whatever the outcome of an assessment is, and your description of him at home suggests that he has a wonderful home environment too!

    Best wishes.

  • Thank you all for your lovely replies, any advise is very much appreciated! I have had some written information they have given me but today I'm going in to read through the actual referral so I'll update on here later! X