Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I have recently received a diagnosis at the grand age of 52. it's a game changer but at the moment i am feeling a bit sorry for myself. My life has been fraught with broken jobs and relationships, loneliness, not fitting in, anxiety, fear and suddenly vanishing friendships. at least i have some insight now but i can't undo the past and all the loss that went with it. How have others managed to reconcile the fact that life could have been so different if only you, family, friends, employers might have known?
I live with my three dogs and have been off sick from my job for four months with the anxiety that I now know is driven by autism. I will not be returning to my job but i have to find a way of paying the mortgage, on my own but how? really I need to work for myself as I am just no good working with or for others.
while i'm thinking aloud i would love to hear from others, particularly older autistic people and those diagnosed later in life. I would love to hear your stories and how diagnosis has changed life for you or how you have reevaluated life before diagnosis...
so, Hi and thank you for having me here
silver
Hi,
My advice since you are thinking of quitting your employment - Is Firstly You MUST get some professional advice from Your Local Benefits advice shop, and separately from your local Citizens Advice Bureau.
You don't really need to have to work for yourself. If you had that sort of ambition or drive to work 18 hrs a day and most probably fail and lose everything you are 30 to 40 years too late. All this working for yourself is a pie in the sky effort by every Government to get You and others off Benefits and to increase the Job Statistics of people working. 1 or 2% may make a go of it with help of others like family working and getting no pay and resenting it. Have a look at your local corner shop, it is a different work ethic to being employed, you will see children doing jobs. they start young.
If you want to work at anything Have it as a Hobby. and enjoy it. I speak of one who has always carried the torch for self employment. starting with hauling wood out of Bombed buildings and try to sell bundles of Firewood for 3d old pennies at 7 possibly 8.
You make enemies if you start to succeed - Take my word for it. This can lead to becoming very ill.
Get some advice before you leave your employment, While you are ill this should be the last thing you should do, It will affect whatever benefits you get, because you did this voluntarily.
If you have membership of a Trades Union get their advice,
You Need ADVICE and Help and Guidance, especially if your employer wants to sack you, because you are ill.
Good luck.
Hi, thanks for your concern. I have union involvement although i think they struggle to understand as much as my employers. My employers have failed to make reasonable adjustments ( I was long diagnosed with chronic anxiety which qualified as a disability years before I got the recent autism diagnosis.) now I am able to reflect with the knowledge of diagnosis and I am learning all the time about my triggers, the overwhelm and the incessant anxiety, i see i cannot continue in my role. I need a new start with less face to face contact as I really struggle but i don't intend to resign my post until all options have been explored.
Currently you have the luxury of having the time to seek help. As you imply your Union is not understanding. Start by speaking to somebody at the CAB. Print off a two transcripts of these posts including your own and give one to who ever you see asking for specialist advice. It will be a impersonal script for you to follow warts and all. As you do not seek face to face contact perhaps where you can interact according to what is being said. From what you have written You will need advice on Benefits, You really should also seek the help of your GP, because unless he signs you unfit for work, you will face DWP interviews, for applicable benefits to your health and circumstances. Remember Winston Churchill's words, Never resign, they will have to sack you. It will be most important to get Credits for Your N.I. otherwise your Pension will suffer, whether you are out of work, or pay the contributions yourself if self employed, or just hiding in a shell where nobody can see you..