Hi. New here and looking for support and advice

Thank you for your help xx

hi again - your town or city is divided up into wards.  Usually there are 2 councillors per ward who were elected by some of the population in that ward who decided to cast a vote.  They attend meetings at the town hall, amongst other things.   They're supposed to hold regular "surgeries" so the people can come along if they have a problem.  Their names and addresses may be in the phone book and on the council's website.  They can take up issues on your behalf by ringing, writing or having meetings with the relevant people in your town hall and hopefully pushing your case.  They should keep in touch with you while this is going on.  It's soo difficult when you don't get your sleep.  My son had times when he was a terrible sleeper but it settled down eventually.   I was totally frazzled.  Difficult to work out exactly why she may be wandering unless its that she's unsettled.  Wish I could wave a magic wand for you.  Signing off for now.  x

What is a councillors ward surgery? I'm so sorry to keep asking questions but as I said, I know nothing. 

We manage quite well but I admit I'm tired. Caitlin's recently started wandering at night and once she's awake, she won't go back to sleep. As it is, I have to look after DD1 at night time anyway cos her oxygen levels drop so I only sleep very lightly anyway. Caitlin's always been a really good sleeper though. She's always loved her bed so I don't know where this has even come from? X

yes, could be she copied these behaviours.  Could also be she's very stressed and losing her temper rapidly as a result.   When my son was under a lot of stress (in the wrong environment) and also tired, he had a very short fuse.  It was understandable.   We've all been in positions where things got the better of us!  I know the council/boards thing is new to you, but if you wanted to pursue it you could write a letter or see when your local councillor's ward surgery is and where it's held.  Sometimes it would be in a community centre or similar.  Just trying to think of ways which might push things along.  You sound like a really good mum to both your children - remember to try and look after yourself as well. x

I definitely noticed a change after the move. I think she perhaps may have learnt that she could lose her temper from seeing the other kids at school doing it and then getting a reaction... I really don't know. I wouldn't like to say. 

Boards etc, I really don't know about anything like that. I'm totally new to all of this x

yes, from what's you say, I think you're right about the school being too much for her.  Sounds pretty dreadful, regardless of whether she'd asd or not.  If she is asd then it'll have been worse for her.  Has her behaviour deteriorated since your move and changed school?  2 big events in anyone's life.  So I can understand why you're considering home education.  Stability is key. Do you know what they mean by "urgent" with regard to getting an appt?  I'm asking because what you and I would regard as urgent might not be how they regard it.  Local councils have a Children and Families directorate (or similar title).  That dept will have a director, deputy directors and a councillor who'll be its chairman(woman).  Their details should be found on your council's website.  I know you've got a lot on your plate but I'd be requesting a meeting with them to see what can be done about schooling whilst the diagnostic process is going on.   I'd also look into the make up of your children's centre.  Do they have a Board?  Who's on it?  Some of those people may be helpful to your case.

See, the school she attended before was a very controlled environment. Days were very structured and the kids were all very wellbehaved. When we moved to the new area, I'd heard loads of good about the local school. It turned out that it's nothing more than a free for all. On her first day, she was pinned to a wall and threatened with a pair of scissors by a 6yr old boy. For the following 6 weeks of term, she was hit, kicked, pushed and punched. I went into school every day and then eventually, they asked for the referral to the GP and said they thought autism/asd. It's the only school that's within walking distance for DD1, so that's why I was considering home schooling. I've wondered if the whole class setting with so many kids was just too much for her. 

Ove tried tights, short socks, long socks, trainer socks and now we just wear pumps with no socks because it's just too upsetting for her.I called the children's centre 3 times in the last fortnight and she did call back last time. She suggested the chill put room and said she'd already requested an urgent appointment so was unable to speed things up anymore. 

Apologies for the dreadful typo's, my phone seems to have different ideas of what I'm trying to type lol xx

hi Caitlinsmummy - if your daughter is diagnosed as being on the spectrum then things should be put in place to help her and yourselves, inc a school which can meet her needs.  I'd push to get the assessment done asap under the circumstances. I could be difficult to try to educate both your daughters at home when circumstances are as your describe.    If you suspect she is asd, then maybe you could think about her daily routine.  My son is an adult now and still likes his routine, altho he can accept changes if he knows well in advance and why. He is still not good at anticipating things and can be easily surprised/shocked when the unexpected (to him) occurs.  I used to presume my son understood a number of things but when he developed language I realised he could easily draw the wrong conclusion because he didn't see the full picture of most things.  Therefore he relied on what he could decipher. He is not adept at following a sequence of events through the way we can.  We broke down an event, even a small one like going out, down into little steps.  Eg: 1 - get your coat and we'd take him to the coat rack and help him get it, 2 - open the door, 3 - shut the door etc.  We always took the same route to town, getting on the bus at the same stop etc.  We followed the same route whilst in town, etc etc.   When he was little he used to twirl when over-stimulated.  He never got dizzy and did it because it helped him.   Looking back it would have been better for him and us if we'd been able to identify at the time why he was over-stimulated and call a halt to the activity that got him so wound up.  Perhaps she needs a quieter environment?  What's usual family life for most of us can sometimes be chaotic for someone with asd.   She may well be over and/or undersensitive to things such as textures, smells, temperature, touch.  You have to turn into Inspector Poirot to work it out!  Would she wear tights instead of socks?  This site has loads of info so you could do some searches and/or ring the nas helpline.  bw

She eats things too. If given an opportunity while my backs turned, she'll eat tissues. if she picks a worm up in the garden, she'll taste it. If she goes to the toilet and gets in a mess, her fingers are straight in her mouth. I've explained about germs etc but she seems totally oblivious to it all. 

Im sorry to pour it all out on here but I have nobody else that seems concerned but I know that my little lady needs me to help her but I just don't know how? 

It's just so hard being in limbo. What do I think? Is she? Isn't she? 

She won't tolerate clothes on most of the time and will happily run around naked all day but that obviously keeps us in all the time. She freaks if hwe socks  aren't the exact same height and we have to stop every few steps so she can check them. She can't do buckles on shoes or Velcro, or anything that is adjustable (hope that makes sense) she lashes out if I nod rather than saying yes. When we're out and about, she twirls and untwirls constantly. 

My other DD is home schooled due to a medical condition that made school exhausting for her and I'm wondering now whether it may benefit Caitlin too? 

Thank you for taking the time to reply xx

hi there caitlinsmummy (or do you prefer kelly?), dont worry about that computers arent everyones thing

well, it obviously depends why shes acting out, if she has autism then she could be overstimulated by any number of things, sounds lights, materials, foods etc etc, so you can start by figuring out when she does this and why

obviously trying to avoid whatever it is that is stressing her would be the best option, but if thats not possible then all you can do is let her express how she feels, the way she can, be it her obsessions, routines , foods, toys etc, and if shes violent im not so sure about that but i know a lot of parents usually have to put physicall presure on the kids or literally hold them down, which sounds worse than it is, pressure, if its applied right, can be really good for them as they are so sensitive to things

what people see is the least of your issues, they can (and will) see what they want, dont bother about that, all you need to focus on is you, your family and all of you being happy