Hi. New here and looking for support and advice

Before I start, I'm not very good at this Internet stuff so bare with me. 

My DD is 5, almost 6. She's always had her 'quirks' but to cut a long story short, her school wrote to our GP who has referred Caitlin to the paediatric team for assessment (I'm assuming) She had her appointment with nurse specialist who has referred us to a specialist I think. She listed her concerns as being communication difficulties (her speech is slow and monotone)behaviour rigidities, social difficulties and one other that seems to have escaped me at the moment. 

We have also been referred to SALT to see what they think. 

The problem I'm really having at the minute is knowing how to deal with her when she lashes out. She frequently targets her sister who is only 8. I've tried talking, she shouts over me, I've tried naughty step, she won't sit on it and I've tried a chill out room but that doesn't seem to workeither. 

As it is now, I don't know if Caitlin is autistic, or has ASD as suggested by the nurse. People see her as being naughty but I'm sure it's not just naughtiness. 

Any advice is gratefully accepted. Kelly xx

Parents
  • hi Caitlinsmummy - if your daughter is diagnosed as being on the spectrum then things should be put in place to help her and yourselves, inc a school which can meet her needs.  I'd push to get the assessment done asap under the circumstances. I could be difficult to try to educate both your daughters at home when circumstances are as your describe.    If you suspect she is asd, then maybe you could think about her daily routine.  My son is an adult now and still likes his routine, altho he can accept changes if he knows well in advance and why. He is still not good at anticipating things and can be easily surprised/shocked when the unexpected (to him) occurs.  I used to presume my son understood a number of things but when he developed language I realised he could easily draw the wrong conclusion because he didn't see the full picture of most things.  Therefore he relied on what he could decipher. He is not adept at following a sequence of events through the way we can.  We broke down an event, even a small one like going out, down into little steps.  Eg: 1 - get your coat and we'd take him to the coat rack and help him get it, 2 - open the door, 3 - shut the door etc.  We always took the same route to town, getting on the bus at the same stop etc.  We followed the same route whilst in town, etc etc.   When he was little he used to twirl when over-stimulated.  He never got dizzy and did it because it helped him.   Looking back it would have been better for him and us if we'd been able to identify at the time why he was over-stimulated and call a halt to the activity that got him so wound up.  Perhaps she needs a quieter environment?  What's usual family life for most of us can sometimes be chaotic for someone with asd.   She may well be over and/or undersensitive to things such as textures, smells, temperature, touch.  You have to turn into Inspector Poirot to work it out!  Would she wear tights instead of socks?  This site has loads of info so you could do some searches and/or ring the nas helpline.  bw

Reply
  • hi Caitlinsmummy - if your daughter is diagnosed as being on the spectrum then things should be put in place to help her and yourselves, inc a school which can meet her needs.  I'd push to get the assessment done asap under the circumstances. I could be difficult to try to educate both your daughters at home when circumstances are as your describe.    If you suspect she is asd, then maybe you could think about her daily routine.  My son is an adult now and still likes his routine, altho he can accept changes if he knows well in advance and why. He is still not good at anticipating things and can be easily surprised/shocked when the unexpected (to him) occurs.  I used to presume my son understood a number of things but when he developed language I realised he could easily draw the wrong conclusion because he didn't see the full picture of most things.  Therefore he relied on what he could decipher. He is not adept at following a sequence of events through the way we can.  We broke down an event, even a small one like going out, down into little steps.  Eg: 1 - get your coat and we'd take him to the coat rack and help him get it, 2 - open the door, 3 - shut the door etc.  We always took the same route to town, getting on the bus at the same stop etc.  We followed the same route whilst in town, etc etc.   When he was little he used to twirl when over-stimulated.  He never got dizzy and did it because it helped him.   Looking back it would have been better for him and us if we'd been able to identify at the time why he was over-stimulated and call a halt to the activity that got him so wound up.  Perhaps she needs a quieter environment?  What's usual family life for most of us can sometimes be chaotic for someone with asd.   She may well be over and/or undersensitive to things such as textures, smells, temperature, touch.  You have to turn into Inspector Poirot to work it out!  Would she wear tights instead of socks?  This site has loads of info so you could do some searches and/or ring the nas helpline.  bw

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