Hey just wanted to say hello, I was diagnosed in 2008 with Aspergers and 2013 with ADHD. Looking into ways of having better self care and support as I have possibly neglected myself over the years sInce diagnosis, due to possibly having feelings of doubt and denial. Doesn’t help when people say ‘but you don’t look autistic!’ I sure many can relate to this!
I was diagnosed in 2017. It didn't seem real to me somehow and it took some time to accept the diagnosis. I can also relate to the self-neglect too although in my case it was because I didn't know why I was 'failing' with so many things. It's still a lot to accept even if it does make a lot of sense.
I’ve also had the ‘failing’ feelings too, especially when it comes to friendships and realitonships. Just got to try and remember to be kinder to ourselves.
Welcome to the forum. Lots of people seem to have a very narrow and inaccurate view of what autism is - so when they say 'you don't look autistic' I am not sure they really know enough about autism to judge.
Don't let their own lack of knowledge or 'doubts' affect you. You are an individual and are just as entitled to empathy and support as much as anyone else.
It's so hard to do because I'm always reminded by family of other people's achievements. The feeling of failure is getting worse now as I am 30 this year and feel like I have done nothing with my life so far. I will just have to try harder, I guess.
Yes I have noticed that over the years, how very little people know about autism, but think they do by watch ‘Rainman’ I think that didn’t help with me being open about it to people, and I’m still not to be honest. People are just so judgemental. It has been hard not to be affected but I’m starting to try and change that.
Maybe you have achieved a lot more than you think? It is always difficult to compare achievements with what other people have done. For example, I consider it a big achievement if I go to a work event of some sort and manage to speak to three people. I know that is a massive challenge for me so it is a big achievement - even if for someone else they would not consider it to be a big deal at all.
I can totally understand that, as I have compared myself a lot to people and there achievements, between working (I don’t work) getting married or buying a house, having babies etc. I didn’t go to university until I was 30 (I’m now 45) total mistake, didn’t know then that I had ASD. I got through it but it was a waste of time. I think we tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be like ‘ordinary’ people because we are told that’s how we are meant to be in society. You do what you can and don’t put pressure on yourself too much :)
Totally agree, the things that NTs count as everyday behaviour are achievements to us.
Hello and welcome!
Next time they say "but you don't look autistic", ask them what autistic looks like. I doubt you'll get an answer. People just don't think about anything, don't have an opinion based in anything, but just feel the need to say something!