Hi and an Introduction -


My name is Tom, I am 28 and I live in Liverpool, originally from the Midlands. 

Whilst I have not been medically diagnosed with ASD, I have been asked by a number of people over the years if I have Aspergers, usually in the form of them screaming at me "What's wrong with you?". I have however been diagnosed with ADHD, generalised anxiety, depression and most recently panic disorder.

I have been looking into this issue recently after a moderator in another forum I use told me I was upsetting people (I wasn't, everything I said was factual) and suggested I might have Aspergers after consulting with friends of hers who were medical practitioners in the field and showing them my posts.

I only know 1 person with Aspergers in real life - I can talk to him for hours, but other people say he is boring and weird and don't understand why I am friends with him - perhaps I relate to him. I watched a couple of videos on youtube and they made sense to my life.

I have done several tests online and they all put me at the base score for ASD, but I find the tests confusing as many of the questions are not yes/no questions and lack the levels of detail required to make a competent answer. Also, whilst I match a lot of the symptoms criteria, there is also a lot that I don't fit at all. 

For example:

I have no interest in numbers, but I have a massive interest in words and language and debate and logic.

I have no interest in collecting information about things, but I do have a fascination with maps and cities, rivers, countries and things. I have a photographic memory for maps and can bring up maps in my mind - I never get lost and can always plan a new route just from a map I saw many days before.

I don't have a problem understanding humor or sarcasm - I make a lot of people laugh - but I often use it inappropriately and upset people without realising. 

I don't have a problem going to work, but I always end up getting fired and I never understand why. 

I don't have a problem in socialising with friends at parties, but I struggle with people I don't really know.

I have no problem talking on the phone, unless it is about myself or I become self conscious about my voice - I can't speak properly.

I have no problem going to concerts or clubs, but I can't stand being in crowds in the street - they freak me out.

I can have no issue talking to people normally but in an argument I always try to follow a logical course and say things that are true and then other people get upset.

I like listening to loud and noisey music, but other times I require complete silence and isolation.

I like being intimate with people and being in a relationship, but I can also find it too emotionally or physically intense and try to push it away or end it - upsetting people again. It always seems to surprise me that ending a relationship means not seeing that person again, when I just want them to go away for a bit.

I am very reserved and maybe a bit wooden/awkward, but sometimes I can just explode at people and I don't really know why.


With all of this is mind, I am here looking for information, advice and support on the subject and also networking.

I really don't know where I am with any of this - please help me if you can. Thanks

  • I am a similar age and come from a similar area to you.

    I like you found the AQ test confusing. I always scored quite highly on it so I wasn't in doubt but I found many of them difficult to answer. Like you say it wasn't yes and no and a lot of the time I wanted to answer sometimes. This was actually a trait that my assessor picked up when I was diagnosed. I only like to answer specific questions and I don't like giving an answer unless I am absolutely sure that I am right. He summed this up by saying even 99% right is still wrong. I need it to be 100%. 

    We also discussed that some of the ways I am affected by my autism are situational. I can make eye contact with familiar people if I am calm but I don't like it with unfamiliar people or if I'm anxious/upset. I can talk about something I'm interested in for hours but I HATE small talk. I can communicate well at work because I like it but if people talk about their personal lives it is much harder. I am very organised at work and the opposite at home.

    He said that I am a very logical person and this is why I think and communicate the way I do.

    There are a lot of crossovers between adhd and autism though so it is possible adhd is the reason for your difficulties. My assessor explained to have autism you need to have difficulties with communication, social interaction, sensory and rigid thinking. 

    Sometimes it helps to make a list of all the things you think indicate you have autism.