Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone,
I am new to this forum. I have a 7yo boy who is on the spectrum. We received a formal diagnosis a couple of months ago. It's been though on me and I have been in denial for a while as he has always been bright academically. He is very smart, has a bubbly personality and wants to makes friends but lacks in social skills. He doesn't have many friends at school, is not invited to his peers birthday parties and is sad about it. We haven't discussed the diagnosis with him yet and his classmates are not aware.
When did you share the news with your child? with his/her classmates? Is 7yo not too early?
Also what do you do after a diagnosis? I have enrolled in a course to get a better understanding on the asd but I am clueless on the help that is available around. Do your children see psychologists regularly? Any information, suggestion would be very much appreciated!
Looking forward to your replies. Thank you!
Hi My daughter is going to be 8 in a few days and we are trying to get her assessed, she is also bright but struggles with friends she has one and she is her sole focus which causes problems.
We have not discussed asd with her as she has no formal diagnosis and we didn't want her going in to school and saying something and it leading to bullying as she isn't diagnosed yet. We call it her "quirkiness" she receives counselling in school for anxiety and the school are fully aware of her issues and limitations we have a support worker who meets with us regularly to help push for diagnosis.
I also work in the school and know there are several other children with asd who have been diagnosed and full disclosure made to classmates at the age of 5 now these children are in year 4 all these children are settled and as the other children have always know about the difference they don't see it as a problem as such we found the bullying doesn't happen (not saying it never will but hasn't yet)
Talk to your sons school see what is available from them and their ideas on disclosure also look for local support groups they can be very useful as full of parents that have been there, family support services can help with getting access to support
Its great you are doing an understanding autism course I myself have done this and several others, just remember that you are not alone and the people in this community are fantastic at helping you to understand behaviours and the thoughts behind them
Thank you so much for taking the time to post a reply. It feels great and reassuring to have some support. I will definitely join a local support group. I have reservations about disclosing the diagnosis to his classmates at this stage, I don't want him to feel different and be the target of bullies. I will raise that with the school though, it's always nice to get different point of views. Love that you call it her "quirkiness". Bless her. Hope you get an assessment soon, it was a long wait for us. All the best
You are more than welcome, we are here to support each other,
As for your sons disclosure definitely talk to his school they may offer something in the way if a brief chat with the children about alot of different problems that people can have and how it is not a bad thing, this was one of the ways the subject was brought up in our school that way it did not single out one child but still made children aware that not everyone thinks the same way, but it is entirely up to you.
Thanks for the comment about the "quirkiness" it just seemed to fit! Even her teachers have started referring to it as such
Local support groups can be fantastic. I didn't bother for ages as I felt I didn't belong as she isn't diagnosed but I spoke to the organisers who said that didn't matter and when I went and found so many parents that had been through what we are going through it was so nice and really a massive weight off as I didn't feel so alone in my struggles.
Good luck x