HELP...infomation please???

hi my names bethan, im new to all this (and dont really no if im doing this right lol) but would just like some adivice if possible...i have a 4yr old son called 'zephyr',hes always been well lets say challenging,but as hes my only child i havnt really had another child to compare him to. He started full time school last september,i got called in the school EVERY day with complaints, by november (2 months) his class teacher called me in and started asking questions,asking if my son lines his cars up in certain ways ect ect, i new what she was getting at as my mam has always said he has aspergers but well i just thought he was naughty and didnt listen to me?? in school he bites, scrams,hits,kicks and whatever else he can do to harm the other children on a daily basis,but sometimes he doesnt even no hes done it and even his class teacher says the same..he has like an obsession with hot things(oven,iron,hair straightners) he will ask if they are hot and i tell him yes but its like he has no control over what he does and he will lift his hand up and put it on the iron and even keep it on there for a good few seconds intill something clicks in his head that he actually burning,and then starts screaming in pain,when i ask him why he done it he just cries saying i dont no mammy?? he has this ritual thing that he does when he has a drink or food, he gets the back of his thumb and has to rub it over his face and hair in certain places before he can have the drink/food and he will do it every time..he cant stand his clothes on him,he literally looks like he has ticks,the shoulders go up and hes twitching and flinching yet if i take them off hes fine,goes to bed naked even in winter..i cant change his bedroom round,cant move any toys,cant walk a different way to school,have to read him the same story every night,even though he has stacks of books he wont let me read a different 1...he walks eveywhere on his tiptoes..theres so mamy things but the 1 thing that really gets me down and i no it may sound really petty but he repeats and repeats every single thing i say like he hasnt heard me properly even though hes stood right infront of me but its 24/7,i feel like im a parrot..he doesnt get tired at all,like a bottle of pop all day, hes up at 4 every morning........ does any of this sound to any1 like he has aspergers??? ......i have asked his head teacher to refer him to the phycologist but her reply was 'i only get 3 referals a year,ive used 2 and im not wasting the last 1 on a child that just started in september', so his class teacher wrote me a letter and told me to go to the doctors instead, they didnt want to no as they said hes under 5 so still under health visitor so now im waiting for the health visitor to get back to me.....i feel zephyr is getting picked on in school by the teachers, its like they dont no how to cope with him. hes made to sit on the 'naughty' carpet all the time,he gets taken over to the juniors and made to stay over there out of the way,he has to eat his pack lunch in the heads office while the other children go in the dinner hall (because he throws his food),just b4 half term when we had the really nice weather he was kept in the class and not allowed out at play time,hes not allowed to go to assembly, not allowed to go into the hall for p.e, a parent went in to collect her child early and said he was sat in the corridor with a timer in his hand....i no hes naughty and challenging but surely they shouldnt be allowed to treat him like this,how is he suppose to learn anything??....im just really fed up and welcome 2 any advice good or bad

ps sorry for the essay but this is the short version lol :-)