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The start of Our Autism Journey

Natalie2607

Hi,

I am new to the site and am looking for other parents in a similar position to chat to!

My little boy is 2 next month and I have known since an early age we would be looking at a diagnosis of Autism. From a young age he has presented nearly all of the typical symptoms which have become more obvious as he has got older.

He is now going to be monitored by what his paediatrician called the Autism Umbrella team and we will hopefully have a formal diagnosis in around a years time.

He is such a happy and content little boy on the whole and we are grateful he is healthy.

I would love to know how other parents are coping - I on the whole am struggling. Although I have always known this was where we were headed it has still been difficult to accept when you hear the thoughts from a professional. I am trying to accept the new path which we now need to be on. I have heard other parents of Autistic children describe how they almost felt they needed to grieve the child they thought they would have. I think this is how I am feeling - although this makes me feel extremely selfish and guilty.

Just wondering if anyone else can share their thoughts and feelings - it would be appreciated :)  

  • Hi Natalie,

    Just to let you know we have removed your email address from your post, as it is not allowed to share personal contact details in the community.

    Many thanks,

    Heather - Mod

  • Hi Kirbz,

    Thank you so much for your reply, I appreciate it so much. It sounds like you have had a tough time and not much support for years. I am glad you have got the diagnosis and hopefully you can get much more help and support for your little boy.

    Its nice to know others feel the same as me as sometimes as a parent it can feel very lonely. Being a first time Mum is hard anyway but to be a first time Mum with an Autistic child is very daunting. 

    I understand exactly when you said even though you already knew it was hard to hear. I think at every point you are expecting someone to turn around and say 'oh no, actually what you thought was wrong'. Although I wouldn't change my little boy I worry he is going to miss out on things other children would experience and that breaks my heart. I also think it is still all new to me and I am not sure how his future will look at the moment. 

    If you want to talk any more please email me directly as it would be great to have another Mum to talk to. - [email address deleted by moderator]

    Thanks so much for your reply - Natalie xxx 

  • Hi Natalie, we found out 2 weeks ago that our 6 year old son is on the spectrum, although I knew from  he was in reception class and fought with his teachers that something was wrong, it hit me hard when I got told, I couldn't stop crying and felt very empty and sad, even tho nothing had changed I just still felt that way, we have to go back this Thursday for the full report so I'm expecting those emotions to come back. I still don't understand my own emotions when we got told, especially after knowing he would be on the spectrum and proving everybody right. I know I haven't been much help, but just had to comment to tell you your not alone and I feel the same. i hope you get all the support for you and your son. This is going to be a new journey for us both. Xx

  • I'm an autistic parent, but I don't have an autistic child. I always knew I wasn't what my mother had planned. She constantly told me as I was growing up & forced me to comply with the masses. I know you won't do that to your child. I've never been conventional. But my mother had no idea what autism was & avoided professionals like the plague due to her violent husband. And probably also as she knew something wasn't right with me, but feared I could be taken away. I feel since my diagnosis at 31 she has felt a little grief. In a way it's not selfish because she thought she gave birth to a neuro typical. I must admit I had no idea what autism was, but couldn't give a fig as the symptoms obviously weren't news to me. But I can see how it may feel like a loss to a parent just finding out. She lost what she thought at birth was a neuro typical female. And she didn't have any other children after me, I was her only daughter. I feel a bit sad for her, I had grown up always wanting a sister.

  • Hi Clovis, 

    I really appreciate your reply and the link is great so thank you for that. I have had a good read and it's good to get another perspective.

    I wouldn't want you to think that I regret my little boy at all or that I grieve for who he is. I don't.  As a first time Mum who suffers from anxiety my worries overtake my mind and I worry; will he miss out on anything, will he be happy etc. I worry about things out of my control as such and I worry about things I'm not even sure I need to worry about yet. 

    As I said in previous post, he is happy and healthy and as a parent that is all you can ask for.