I am a 24 year old girl and I think I have Aspergers, frightened to seek diagnoses.

Eled said:

I'm not saying that there's no alternatave to living miserably. Infact I got up at the start of this year and vowed I would get my life and my head under controll. But a diagnosis isn;t a panacea that makes all the bad stuff go away. To do that you need to get help, treatment. It takes time and work.

I didn;t want the OP thinking she'll get her secret aspy decoder ring and all her problems would go away. It takes persiatance and effort right when we have least of those, to change a life.

Eled, I'm glad that you are more positive. The message I got from your post was not what you had meant to communicate - there is something about communication difficulties perhaps? Perhaps we sometimes struggle to imagine what other will think when we say something? It is particularly difficult to get the messaging right if we are talking to someone in the OP's shoes who is just going through the turmoil of the diagnosis process.

It struck me yesterday that the phrase "some assembly required" applies to a diagnosis (or realisation) of autism. You have to apply your own persistence and effort as intelligently as possible in conjuction with any assistance that you can get from support or therapy.

Thanks for the list, it really helps to see them layed out like that and I think that I can utilise these. You actually made me feel a lot better about going to the doctors, most of my anxieties stem from the fact that I have I feel as though Dr's are so skeptical in my experience, but I'm sure your advice will help me! Thanks again

NAS18906 said:

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In either case, your feelings wont change, there is no magic wand to fix you. Its just a matter of getting up every day, and trying to live through it.

It makes me sad, Eled, to read that people see no alternative to accepting a miserable life. People's feelings can, and sometimes do, change. For me, diagnosis has opened doors to thinking differently. My autism won't go away but the anxiety and depression that I suffered from are not part of my autism. My autism lead me into a life of conflict and misunderstanding and lack of success in some areas. These things lead to me to be anxious and depressed. My inability to understand and deal with people was handicapped and I had no idea that I had a problem and therefore no idea about what to do about the situation. I was miserable, zombie like and would continually get into arguments at work. Anxiety and depression can be tackled and you can build a better life if you understand yourself better and if you understand that most pther people are different and that you can work with that understanding to accept yourself, and other people, for what they are.

I'm not saying that there's no alternatave to living miserably. Infact I got up at the start of this year and vowed I would get my life and my head under controll. But a diagnosis isn;t a panacea that makes all the bad stuff go away. To do that you need to get help, treatment. It takes time and work.

I didn;t want the OP thinking she'll get her secret aspy decoder ring and all her problems would go away. It takes persiatance and effort right when we have least of those, to change a life.

Hickory, I hope that at 24 you will at least be taken more seriously than those of us who were middle-aged before we sought a diagnosis (I'm 56). Age shouldn't matter but apparently it often does.  However, referrals seem to vary regionally; here in North Somerset we're fortunate to now have a dedicated NHS autism service and it took only three months for them to give me an appointment after the GP's referral.  Besides diagnosis, this also offers a weekly advice service and post-diagnostic course.  Until this autism unit was established, I never got anywhere asking GPs for a diagnosis.

Incidentally, there are several women on the post-diagnostic course I attend and I think there's a growing awareness of Asperger's in females.  I notice that the women on the course don't appear to have some of the typical male traits we often read about, nor do I myself (perhaps because I'm a gay male).

But whatever the local situation these are my tips (based on my personal experience).  I've posted them before but I think they're worth repeating.

1. Make a special appointment with your GP for this one issue.  Don't raise other health problems at the same time as these will distract from it.
2. Emphasise how much and in what ways your life is affected, if possible in precisely measurable terms.  In my case, this meant statements like: "I spend almost all my time alone," "I haven't had a night away from home for 12 years".
3. Write down in advance what you want to say - also rehearse it but refer to your notes when necessary at the appointment.  It's okay to appear or sound nervous; that will probably strengthen your case!
4. Emphasise it's a long-term issue and you are not just going through "a bad patch".
5. Give your reasons why you think it's ASD and not shyness, depression, or the other convenient labels the GP might want to use.  Don't be fobbed off with antidepressants or other pills GPs like to prescribe.
6. Take one of the online tests and print out or record your score for the GP.
7. If you feel really uncomfortable with a particular GP, switch to another either temporarily or permanently. However, if you can, it's probably best to see the doctor you're actually registered with - he was the one who eventually referred me.
8. If it helps - and it's possible - ask a relative or friend to accompany you, ideally someone who can confirm what you say without taking over the interview.
9. Do not ramble.  Short, strong, precise statements often make more impact than trying to tell your life history or going on about how bad you feel generally.  Allow the GP time to respond.
10. State clearly that you want to be referred for an autism diagnosis as soon as possible.

Thank you so much, your words have really chimed with me, and thanks for such a positive message

I understand what you are saying about GPs, they have only limited time and resource, and will treat what they can see. But it's extraordinarily difficult when someone with social interaction issues is led through a symptom diagnosis script designed to fit into a 5 minute consultation. Personally, I usually get cut short to be asked something like "Do you want a sick note then?" (No) or "Do you want antidepressants then?" (Not really). Not the GPs fault, but is off-putting. There seems to be some good advice on here about material to print out and take with you to discuss which I would like to try

Eled said:

In either case, your feelings wont change, there is no magic wand to fix you. Its just a matter of getting up every day, and trying to live through it.

It makes me sad, Eled, to read that people see no alternative to accepting a miserable life. People's feelings can, and sometimes do, change. For me, diagnosis has opened doors to thinking differently. My autism won't go away but the anxiety and depression that I suffered from are not part of my autism. My autism lead me into a life of conflict and misunderstanding and lack of success in some areas. These things lead to me to be anxious and depressed. My inability to understand and deal with people was handicapped and I had no idea that I had a problem and therefore no idea about what to do about the situation. I was miserable, zombie like and would continually get into arguments at work. Anxiety and depression can be tackled and you can build a better life if you understand yourself better and if you understand that most pther people are different and that you can work with that understanding to accept yourself, and other people, for what they are.

Hi,

A lot of GPs see no point in diagnosing Asperger's. Because there's no cure for the actual autism. The GP may have suspicions but just focuses on depression/anxiety, because they feel they can help with that. People with autism have features of anxiety. Not everyone with anxiety disorders have Asperger's/autism. Only a specialist could diagnose if you have autism/Asperger's. I've known someone who has had a life very similar to my own, but they don't have autism. They have high anxiety/depression.

If the person suspected of having autism is suffering or unable to work, that may be used as a reason to seek a diagnosis. If professionals see a positive reason such as employment, that seems to be helpful in getting a referral. If you can still have relationships/hold down a job, with little effect on day to day life, GPs seem to have little interest in referring. The referrer may claim a diagnosis would benefit your family relationships/parenting.

I was referred for an Asperger's assessment by my support worker at the time 5 years ago. When my child was 5 & I was fighting my DLA decision. Though resources were tight then, they're even worse now. It took several months to even receive a response. After several written assessments & a few face-to-face appointments, I was formally diagnosed by a senior specialist. After the diagnosis I just received a letter detailing my diagnosis, but no treatment (it states there is none for autism). I'm unable to work but still this is not accepted as being due to autism. The DWP still only acknowledge depression/anxiety element as a cause. As I never go out now I don't see any GP. Ironically DWP refuse to accept I still have anxiety/depression. 

You should seek a diagnosis.

It you turn out not to be on the spectrum, you might be sick sad and miserable but you are a step closer to the cause, and the negitave wont invaliadate any of how you fee.

If you turn out to be on the spectrum, you might be sick sad and miserable, but you will know at least some of the why, and there are tools.

In either case, your feelings wont change, there is no magic wand to fix you. Its just a matter of getting up every day, and trying to live through it.

I agree how intimidating it is. Each time I have been to the GP with depression, I feel like a fraud because I am forced into such a quick conversation which is so inadequate to describe the whole picture, last time I was just prescribed sleeping tablets and advised to refer myself for CBT. the tablets messed me up so much I nearly lost my job. Recognising it might be Aspergers was like a lightbulb going on, so much in my life made sense and the awful stress and cost of trying to hide it and appear normal, which is getting harder to cope with the older I get ( I'm 43). Every online test I have done says Aspergers, but the road for an undiagnosed adult to a formal diagnosis seems a difficult one. Hopefully we will both find answers

Thanks for the support! It's so intimidating isn't it? I am reading a lot of posts where people are struggling to get any help from their doctors, its very discouraging and leaves me not knowing what to do...

I too think I have Aspergers-yours was the first post I saw when I summoned the courage to join this site today. I don't really have any answers for you, but wanted to show my support